• I miss you & I miss your smile!!!

    by  • January 20, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 1 Comment

    I miss you so much!
    Every day, a little bit more! 🙁
    I always hope for the day that we will speak again!
    🙁
    Have been waiting for so many years. I should give up and move on. But I can’t. I wish so much that you were part of my life..
    Will you ever contact me?
    Am I just wasting my time, hoping that we’ll speak again?
    I couldn’t be more sorry for everything on my part. Just feel like stuck to an extent because I never heard anything back from you after that.
    My heart completely aches sometimes..
    You used to hang around a fair bit I think and that just made me think even more that you too wanted to be part of my life, but I couldn’t be more wrong.

    I felt quite hurt still never knowing what you really want.
    I don’t know you. But always wished that I could and did….
    The first time we initiated contact you shared something and I wanted to continue a conversation with you from that but that isn’t something you wanted.. 🙁
    I don’t know what you wanted 🙁
    Still don’t 🙁
    You know I just wish you could be part of my life. Even if not that, just to know that you had forgiven me would be 100 million times better than never even seeing/speaking to you again.
    I would properly contact you again if it meant I could speak to you! But I have to respect your wishes! There’s no other way I can contact you. Thank gosh for this website. Not sure you even come on here. The optimist in me hopes you might! You were probably one of the most optimistic people I’ve ever met to date.
    This some people are in your life for a reason, others a season quote is the only thing that got me to this point from this.
    To be truthful, I have never cried so much over anyone. You meant & still do mean so so much to me! I wish you knew that! 🙁 but I don’t need to tell you any more times.
    I wish you would approach me. And I wish you would contact me. If you don’t want to do that and have no intention for any type of relationship then please stay away.
    As much as I’d wish you’d approach me, if you have no intention of anything then please stay away as all you are doing is making me hopeful only to again make me feel hurt and pained.

    I’ve learnt that I can no longer go through life being angry & resentful with myself. I am only human & I respect myself. No one is perfect. I am learning all the time. Yes I have done stupid things, but who hasn’t.
    I’ve made mistakes, but I’ve learnt from them. I am always trying so hard. This year my resolution is to be a better person. In the sense not putting myself down or at cost, but in the sense of being someone that I can look back and think I am so proud of “her”.
    When I do look back, I am incredibly proud of myself. But there’s always things that need a bit of editing.. :’D Sometimes I do ache due to consistent self-criticism but, am learning that I do matter too. Deep down I love myself. Every day I’m a little bit better, a little bit stronger.
    Still empathetic, but picking wisely who I overly show compassion towards.
    If someone’s got my back, then 100% I would have theirs, but I am more reserved about trusting nowadays. I am trying to think a bit more about me & how I feel. I’m quite protective of myself.
    My life is an open book to an extent. But only because I don’t see the point of being closed as have nothing obvious to hide.

    The one thing I do want to say: is as much as I’ve done wrong and in my books you’ve hurt me. I will always have my door open to you because I somewhat believe that one day things will be okay. I won’t be angry & blame myself anymore in the process, because all that matters at the end of it is life. Life is too short to have regrets & blamings.

    One thing i do worry about is if I ever forget what you look like. I have one picture of you with me. It’s only a group one. Sometimes I look at it when I miss you.
    Despite this, I will never forget the way you made me feel. :’) :The confidence & empowerment you gave me & most likely many others.

    At the end of the day.
    With all my heart I only wish the best for you even if that means it’s better for you if you never see me again. It will and does completely destroy me. But I want nothing more than for you to be happy & be loved even if it means I couldn’t be more hurt in the process.
    I love & miss you so much! Just so you know either way..

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    One Response to I miss you & I miss your smile!!!

    1. good attitude
      January 22, 2017 at 5:14 pm

      I like your resolution. The only thing we can do is work on ourselves and hope for the best.




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