• You broke my heart

    by  • January 9, 2017 • Breaking Up • 0 Comments

    Dear J,
    You were my best friend, you were my everything you were my safe place, apparently, I was nothing to you. I loved you (I still do), did you really love me or was it just a show? I hate myself for still loving you and still missing you, I feel like I shouldn’t. It’s killing me to still want you and know that I won’t get you back. I liked it when I was yours, I liked when your arms were the safest place in the world and your lips made know that I was yours and that were mine. Remember when we would say I love you and then you would say “Forever and Always”? Yeah me too. I miss you and I miss us. I’m slowly realizing that it’s okay and it won’t work out but I’m having a hard time coping, I really am. I don’t hate you but I’m disappointed that you became everything that you said you wouldn’t. I thought you would never hurt me, I thought that you were my prince charming. This isn’t what you promised, it wasn’t supposed to end this way. My stomach drops when I think of anyone else having you, but whoever it is I sincerely hope your happy and I hope she’s what you were looking for, she is the luckiest girl on earth to have you. You deserve to happiness and you are literally the most amazing person in the world. I hope that all the shitty things with your family get better and I hope your parents finally start listening to you and understanding you. Tell them I’m gonna miss them.

    I think my brain knew we were done but my heart didn’t. Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you end everything? Was it even real or was it all in my head? Why am I not good enough for you? You know you’re reasons for leaving were bullshit, please give me some reasons. Because I don’t have perfect features? Or huge eyes that you could drown in? Or perfect shiny long long hair? And please don’t cause this much pain to any other girl that is lucky enough to get you. Love her with our intoxicating love and contagious smile. I hope you find someone that will love you endlessly and unconditionally, and that you can give her back, I hope you find your happiness. I hope you have a beautiful new beginning.

    I want you to know that if you ever need anything, let me know, I’ll be here. If you just need to talk. I know life is shitty and fucked up, but I’m here even when no one else is. Legit if you need anything I’ll be here. Please don’t stay away from what’s best for you, just to avoid me. I don’t want my first kiss back, I don’t want my first I love you back, I don’t want my first relationship back, I don’t want that year back because You were the best thing to ever happen to me, you taught me so much in those 15 months. I’m heartbroken but I still love you and I always will. We both changed and instead of changing together we changed in opposite directions. I’m going to miss you.?

    Forever and Always,
    R

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