A comment got me thinking, feeling. And it brought up more that I feel you deserve to know.
I feel that way too. Clusters of flirtations, I mean. As soon as I figure out I’m sending or could possibly be sending signals and crossing that invisible line, I pull away. I back off. I keep telling myself, reminding myself what we really are… Friends. I am fighting my own heart here. I am fighting my conscience. I am struggling to balance the joy of being around you with the guilt I feel for that joy. Forgive me for the mixed signals. Please forgive me for making you feel led on, if I have.
The commenter stated that he was stuck being friends. Well so are we. Stuck. Stuck here like this, being friends. Because neither of us has it in us to cross that invisible line.
Neither of us will let ourselves become the terrible kind of person that causes pain to others. Even if that means we sacrifice our own happiness. Just being in your presence is pure bliss. That is enough for me. It has to be.
But I mean the words when I say them. I do love you. Please don’t question that.