• If I

    by  • January 2, 2017 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 2 Comments

    Had been the one to cut all contact, would you contact me first or would you want me to be the one to open the door? See when someone cuts all contact with someone then the someone has to assume that the person who cut contact, for some reason wants nothing more to do with them.

    I don’t know why you stopped answering my text. I don’t know why you stopped answering my phone calls. I can only assume you just wanted nothing more to do with me.

    I love you more than you will ever know. I wouldn’t want to cause you anymore trouble than what I had already done. I love you so much that you wanting to be free from me, I have to respect that.

    I will say one thing. Had you given me the opportunity to choose you, then you are who I choose. I feel we are soul mates. You have changed me profoundly, in a good way. You make me want to be a better person and I felt so alive with you. You cutting contact has been tragic to my soul. I don’t know how to heal from it. Do I want you in my life? More than anything I do. I would love to explore us and what I know we both feel. I’m not going to play dumb as if I don’t know how you felt about me. I felt it! No way someone doesn’t feel love that deep and not think the other person doesn’t feel it. I know you felt it back then. I don’t know how you feel now about me. There are times I swear I can feel you still. When I fantasize about you, I can feel you as if your making love to me. I know that my longing for you plays a big part in that. Oh the feel of your breath on my neck. The caress of your hand. Your lips as they touch my skin. It all feels soooo real when in my mind I make love to you. Your warmth on my lips. Your soft silky skin on my fingertips. Your scent in my nose and your taste on my tongue. It’s all so vivid at that moment.

    For all I know I am all but just a memory you have tossed in the blankets of your mind. Do I at least bring a smile to your gorgeous face if a thought of me ever pops up in your mind? I will never know why you cut contact, and I am learning to be OK and live with that. 2017 is going to be a year of moving forward for me. It’s going to be a great year. I would love for you to be a part of it with me, but I am losing hope in that. I hope I do find the love as deep as I have with you again. I hope I get to experience that again. Is it possible? I don’t know, but 2017 I will go into with an open heart and welcome opportunities to find it. I do wish it was with you, but wishing won’t make it happen. I hope you are living life. I hope he is treating you the way I would if you were with me. I haven’t lived life since you left me. I love you with all my heart and am always here for you. If you ever wanted to open the door you shut then know I will be standing there with open arms. You are my girl Weather you like it or not. ????

    Love, The one who loves you truly and deeply!

    2 Responses to If I

    1. Lake Gi
      January 16, 2017 at 12:01 am

      Simply….. beautiful!!

    2. Love hurts
      January 17, 2017 at 4:17 am

      Awesome wish u were my guy. Aww heartache when will it stop.

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