• To I.

    by  • December 30, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Lost Love • 0 Comments

    I really want to get this off my chest. Years ago when I sent those letters to you, I knew that they could be used as evidence but I didn’t care. Those words were from the heart. I remember telling you that I always wanted you in my life if only as a friend. That was and still is true. You never wrote me back. I think because part of you was not as trusting as I was. I wonder if you still have those letters. Or if one day you stumbled upon them and labeled them trash and away they went. I bet you did. I wonder if you miss them. I cut contact because I could not face the rejection. You were so cold and wondered about him more than me. I think our communication was polite on your part. You never initiated a conversation or showed general concern as to what was going on in my life. That shit hurt. So I decided it’s pathetic and lower than me to continue to chase after a man that doesn’t want me. I understand your decision. It makes sense as did mines way back when. Still my logical mind can NOT stop this crave that I have for you. I throb and my heart rate speeds up when I think about you. I know what we could have been. I think you know too. I wish sometimes that you would just think of me out of the blue or dream of me. It makes me happy to know that I’d be on your mind in a small way. You’re my Clyde and I wanna do bad things with you. Sadly, it will never be. I have thrown in the towel. I feel that you will never try to contact me again. You too are hurt. I understand that. I wish you would talk to me about it instead of pushing me away. I wish you the best. But, you will never ever find a woman that loves you more than me. My door is always open to you. I will take you anyway I can get you. If you never contact me again, which I suspect, then we shall never speak again. Until the next time, I will share my affections with a substitute you.

    M.

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