• To my dearest J,

    by  • December 27, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    There is no way that you are here, so I guess it’s okay if I lower my veil. I love you and wish for nothing more for Christmas than your kiss. A hug. So gentle and loving yet firm and protective. I am in love with you. You consume my thoughts; although, you shouldn’t. You inflate my heart; although, I thought you couldn’t.

    The truth is that I am a better person when you are around. I am a better mother, especially. THAT is my main attraction to you. You inspire me to inspire them. You make me WANT to be happy for them. I feel as though I am being sucked dry of my love and you refill my heart somehow. Am I taking advantage of you and your kindness? That is something I don’t want to do. I never want to hurt or take advantage of you.

    Sometimes I wish that you will find someone to make you happy in every way. I know I could please you in all ways but two. 1. I like to be the one in control. 2. I am not your “type” physically. I know my body would disgust you. You, who have been with so many superficial egotistical consumers. A woman who has bore children and is a bit… Inflated or overweight or rounded off in the lower midsection would… Well, let’s just say that there is no way that I could ever show you my physical body without breaking down into a sobfest. There is no way you could appreciate what I have to offer. And that physical world seems to mean so much to you. THAT is where we are incompatible. THAT is where I am incompatible with anyone.

    Bottom line is that I love you and you will never love me the same. You love me, and could never love me the same. It would never work. I must ignore it all. We are just friends. Just friends. I love you, friend, the only one who really sees me.

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