You are neither my regret nor are you my greatest failure, no, I don’t know who you are now. You changed so much since we parted ways, in ways that I sometimes fear cannot be reverted because no matter how much you say we are now strangers, a part of me still cared about you, no matter how bitter, angry you turn at the world, I will still care, and I will still offer my shoulder if you ever decide to return to me.
It’s just like that rose at the end of POTO the movie, you see. She may be gone, she may have lived a life forgetting the darkness she saw, but the prince of darkness will never forget.
You used to be such a sweet soul, full of creativity and happiness despite the bumps and ditches you run into. But now, now all I can see is that this once sweet soul has been replaced by something darker, angrier, hateful, even. And I won’t deny I feel afraid for you. I don’t want to see this beautiful soul fall into forever oblivion, but alas, there is little I can do about it, and that is what hurts me the most.
I never liked it when I see someone who needs a shoulder have no one, especially not one I cared about.
I always like to think I let the past go, that it is no longer with me, but then I realize it still does. I kept all those things you sent me, by the way, because they remind me so much of you when you were the sweetest person on Earth, and I sometimes look back on our older conversations and wonder how it would have been if you were still… you.
I also look back to things I made for you, by the way, and wonder how it might have been.
I want to let go, but I at the same time can’t let you go entirely.