• Leaving Myself Here

    by  • December 23, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, School • 1 Comment

    Here I sit.
    In my high school.
    The halls I cursed.
    These soon to be empty rooms.

    With my family.
    Not by blood,
    But by love.
    The ones I could always count on.

    It took 18 years.
    Every second,
    I wanted to leave.
    How scared I am now.

    Soon I’ll leave.
    Never to see this family.
    The ones that I love.
    The one that shaped me.

    How does anyone do this?
    This is my home.
    My place of escape.
    My world.

    My school.
    Years in these halls.
    Held together by these people.
    These lockers made me.

    Now I’ll have to leave myself behind.
    I won’t forget the ones that cared.
    The ones that hurt me.
    They made the person you know.

    The experiences,
    The sad and scary,
    But also the happy and loving.
    How do I walk away?

    The tile floors.
    Rows of lockers.
    The quiet gym.
    Empty desks.

    I step out that door,
    I don’t leave a school.
    I leave my past.
    I leave myself.

    Leaving myself here.
    Leaving everything.
    Falling apart.
    Breaking down.

    Tear filled eyes.
    A torn up heart.
    Deep breaths.
    Failing strength.

    Soon it will be goodbye.
    But I’ll be failing apart.
    I can’t move on.
    I’ll be leaving myself here.


    One Response to Leaving Myself Here

    1. Itsy bitsy
      December 23, 2016 at 9:19 pm

      Don’t miss high school. I was one of those delinquents that skipped class all the time. I had a few teachers I enjoyed but I didn’t even walk at my own graduation. Partly out not wanting to spend the money on gown just to celebrate that I barely got by and partly because the ceremony seemed like it would bore me. I did have a joint after party though with some friends.

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