Every time I see you, I die a little more. You don’t know how much I wish our paths will cross, and each time that happens I thank my lucky stars. However, it also brings about a plethora of mixed emotions.
Yes, I am so thrilled to see you but I can’t ever show it. There’s so much I want to say and ask you but I can’t do it. I would so love to reach out and touch your hand or hug you, but I could never do that. And so I stand there with you, making small talk, usually about work or something impersonal, feeling somewhat foolish, a million butterflies fluttering about in my belly, trying desperately to remain calm and act like a non-awkward human being. I wish so hard that somehow, we can progress beyond the stage of small talk and start getting to know each other properly. It is tremendously hard, for you are so gorgeous, so masculine, and so smart-looking; I have to stop myself from stealing glances at you. And as I stand there in the park with you, I’m silently begging for the moment to last that little bit longer, for just a few more extra minutes before you take your dog away. I wish for just a few more shared moments with you, where I can stand close to you and breathe the same air as you do. Because in those few precious moments, my heart is reunited with its desires and all is right with my world again. And you probably don’t know it as I would never say it out loud, but each time I see you, I’m desperately hoping and wishing that you will like me, and see me as a girl you could be with.
Because I like you so darn much and I just can’t forget you.