• last night

    by  • December 9, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 6 Comments

    I woke up about 2:30am. I don’t know what woke me. I didn’t have to pee. The dog didn’t wake me up. Everyone else was fast asleep. I remember a waking, but my eyes stayed closed. My mind was on you (I can’t explain it on why out of a deep sleep). My body was on edge and wanting you close. The thoughts started off innocent, but soon developed into making love with you. I didn’t fight it. I welcomed it. I found myself whispering in your ear that wasn’t present.

    Am I in love with you? I can honestly say that if I were to define in love: then yes, very much so in love.
    I have never felt the completeness with anyone as I have felt with you. Will I ever find it again? I don’t know. Do I think we could be just friends? I don’t know. I am so new to the feelings I’ve felt with you. Do you know how I feel? I haven’t a clue. You cut all contact with me. I’m sure you had good reason. I’m sure it was tough for you to have to do. I wish I had been given more time to explore the feelings I have for you. It was fascinating yet scary all at once. Not a day goes by where your not the star of my thoughts. Not a day goes by that I don’t long to hold you. Not a day goes by without an empty space. I hope I find such feelings again. Who wouldn’t. I can honestly say that no one could ever replace you. I wouldn’t want to ever replace you. If I had my way then you and I would be together exploring our depths. Did you feel the same way? I don’t know. I don’t see you cutting contact if you did feel the same way. Maybe I’m wrong about that. You deserve more than I could ever give you. My door does stay open to you.

    6 Responses to last night

    1. Just me
      December 9, 2016 at 2:55 pm

      I’d like to answer: so now you know how I felt all along?

    2. Sunny
      December 9, 2016 at 5:02 pm

      You were in my dream last night too but you looked me in the eye and kept walking. I left because it was the right thing to do and because J left me with something I can never undo. I’m angry. At you. At her. At the situation because all I ever wanted to do was explore our depths but you would never let me close enough. Your door is open to me? Yah. Right. It was my door that was always truly open and you never walked thru it when I needed you to. When I craved you and was ready to give up all I had just to be yours. This on you. Not me.

    3. Someone
      December 9, 2016 at 10:46 pm

      I had the same dream lat night and awoke early Friday morning with the same feeling. Maybe just something in the air?

    4. author
      December 11, 2016 at 12:39 pm

      I already blame myself. No one has to blame me. Had I done/been enough they wouldnt have cut contact. I accepted blame long ago. I could never be enough for such an awesome woman. She deserves way more than what I have.

    5. Sunny
      December 15, 2016 at 4:36 am

      Yup she sure does. She also did not deserve the STD passed to her by another female who is well known to us both. Thanks for that and no you’re not enough. Nothing is enough to give up my health and i cut contact because of that. You can go manipulate someone else now. Have a nice life.

    6. @ sunny
      December 16, 2016 at 12:15 am

      I’ve never ever had an STD. Do you have an STD? Should I be worried? I’ve had a check up since we’ve been together everything came back good. If you do have one it didnt come from me. That’s for sure.

      I’m going to make me another Dr visit just to be on the safe side!

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