I woke up about 2:30am. I don’t know what woke me. I didn’t have to pee. The dog didn’t wake me up. Everyone else was fast asleep. I remember a waking, but my eyes stayed closed. My mind was on you (I can’t explain it on why out of a deep sleep). My body was on edge and wanting you close. The thoughts started off innocent, but soon developed into making love with you. I didn’t fight it. I welcomed it. I found myself whispering in your ear that wasn’t present.
Am I in love with you? I can honestly say that if I were to define in love: then yes, very much so in love.
I have never felt the completeness with anyone as I have felt with you. Will I ever find it again? I don’t know. Do I think we could be just friends? I don’t know. I am so new to the feelings I’ve felt with you. Do you know how I feel? I haven’t a clue. You cut all contact with me. I’m sure you had good reason. I’m sure it was tough for you to have to do. I wish I had been given more time to explore the feelings I have for you. It was fascinating yet scary all at once. Not a day goes by where your not the star of my thoughts. Not a day goes by that I don’t long to hold you. Not a day goes by without an empty space. I hope I find such feelings again. Who wouldn’t. I can honestly say that no one could ever replace you. I wouldn’t want to ever replace you. If I had my way then you and I would be together exploring our depths. Did you feel the same way? I don’t know. I don’t see you cutting contact if you did feel the same way. Maybe I’m wrong about that. You deserve more than I could ever give you. My door does stay open to you.