• Lost and confused

    by  • December 8, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Confusion • 1 Comment

    Why does this feeling Return so easily every time?
    I try so hard to push it away. To focus on my family, and it works for a few weeks. But then I see something you wrote or you reach out in Some way and it all comes back rushing in.
    Feelings I didn’t even knew excisted start to fill me, and before I know my mind is consumed with thoughts of you.
    I start questioning my whole life, my happines and everything I ever thought I wanted, to come to the conclusion that the only thing I really want is to meet you.
    I want you! I don’t know why, I hardly know you. But something keeps on bringing me back to this feeling for you.
    I feel exhausted, trying to keep up this act of the happy woman who is very content with her situation.
    I’m not, I want to bail.
    I want to run, to you!
    It’s like my soul knows it’s happiness lies at the other side of the water and your soul is pulling me in. Like my soul knows that it will only feel safe with you.
    I try to do the good thing, to carry the consequences of the decissions I made and not let my children be the ones who hurt. I’ll suffer for them. I’ll suffer by not following my heart and choose you, by staying.
    I’m a good actor, they’ll never know I’m dieing inside. Nobody knows it but me!
    You’ll be remembered.

    One Response to Lost and confused

    1. change
      December 8, 2016 at 3:19 pm

      You need to change something. You are the best mom to your kids when you are happy and fullfilled. Find out what is. Do it for them.

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