• to the one who treated me like shit

    by  • December 7, 2016 • Closure • 1 Comment

    dear buddha please give me the strength to overcome this major insecurity and allow me to communicate peacefully with him.
    you said you wouldn’t treat me like how that jerk treated me. i believed you, strangely. i trusted you with my fragile heart in that powerful hand of yours that could easily crush it anytime. i thought i could trust you to not let go of the arrow pulled and aimed at my heart. but nope your actions and language are slowly proving me wrong. you proved to me that i was wrong in trusting you to not crush my healing heart and make it shatter into a trillion more pieces. i guess it was all my own wishful thinking, right? we were doing fine, but not anymore. we were only dating you said, but i knew it was an excuse for you not to be attached to me, yet i willfully still did anyways. you started to take hours to reply, ignore texts, not initiating anything despite repeatedly saying you miss me (ffs you don’t, right?). you never made plans to see me even for a simple meal, or even just to see each other for a while. you said distance isn’t a problem but truth is it was from the very start. i can only blame myself for being delusional, thinking everything will be fine but nah nothing was ever, ever fine at all. however, thank you though. thank you for treating me like shit. thank you for showing me and telling me what i really deserve and what i really ever wanted. thank you for showing me that my virginity wasn’t really even a big deal. you treated me like shit but i’m glad i know myself better now. i won’t be able to forget you and everything else related to you but i’ll be able to forgive you because you did a great job at helping me discover my true self. i’m thankful for everything you’ve done and grateful to buddha for showering me with love and giving me strength to overcome this hurdle. mother was right, that all you ever wanted was sex. thank you, ma for seeing right through him. fuck you and please for fuck’s sake, fuck off from my life. one last advice for you: please don’t ever reply with no sincerity to a long text from a girl. it fucking hurts although she never really tells you and will probably keep that sadness deep inside forever.

    One Response to to the one who treated me like shit

    1. Peter C
      December 9, 2016 at 4:17 pm

      Hi. I love the strength that comes from your note. Fuck you, and fuck off! Good going. Anger is mobilizing. Better that, than getting down on yourself for falling for this guy. It is a sign of strength, not weakness, to let yourself be vulnerable. Even if sometimes that openness causes you to get hurt. There are a lot of people in the world who cannot let themselves take the risk that you did. I hope you take many more risks in your life!

      Peter

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