• Here’s to you

    by  • December 7, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Soulmate • 7 Comments

    Here’s to the One i never had.
    I’ve read many stories…love stories and all of them taught me that humans fall in love for stupid reasons. Some fall in love with laughter, some with intelligence…some have no reason at all. And why should they?
    Love…it has no reasons. It just happens…
    I do not know how and when i started falling in love with you, but i do know that you could change my life completely. I could feel the energy in your eyes wanting and attracting my soul towards yours… what did you just do to me?
    i just feel there is a song that both our souls know and sing everytime we are close. we know the lyrics… we know how we complete each other. we know we are not perfect… and we’re working on it… we know we love each other, but still we’re too afraid that the universe may not want this to happen.
    it is nobody’s fault, believe me. all the chances we could have taken, all the conversations we could have done, maybe it’s just not meant to be.
    BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW, i won’t give up on you. i know that this is not the first time i saw you, neither the last. i will search for you in every incarnation even if that means, i have to live 1000 others without you. And when that happens, i will talk to you like an old friend, like the girl who loved the way you talked, the way you smiled, the way you craved knowledge. when that happens my soul will finally find the missing part.
    Here’s to A.D

    7 Responses to Here’s to you

    1. T
      December 8, 2016 at 4:18 pm

      What a beautiful post!

    2. Just Another Beating Heart
      December 13, 2016 at 7:32 am

      Agreed. A beautiful post. One which tells of the timelessness of the heart. Tells of how fast the heart beats when the other is thought of or near. A true heart will never be denied.

    3. Wishes dreams do come true. The proof was YOU ;D
      December 14, 2016 at 10:04 pm

      Love is every reason.
      Love is what makes the world go round.
      Love is the greatest gift we shall ever give & receive.
      Love has nothing to do with the universe.
      Love is a decision made by us.
      Love requires much work.
      Love is infinitly beautiful.
      Love itself is priceless.
      Love has lows & highs
      Love flourishes only when we realise everyone makes mistakes
      Love not hate we all have been right & wrong?
      Love is real when we DO forgive & overcome these hurdles together
      Love is communicating with your love not thy neighbour.
      Love isn’t genuine when we can’t do this?
      Love only lasts forever each growing old together
      Love goes through many trials & many tribulations
      Love only survives fire & ice by learning by our mistakes which does take time for we all aren’t perfect or else why do we write here?
      Love isn’t leaving when the going gets tough.
      How many here who read this want that love that we see lasts a lifetime? Not in fairytales. My parents for an example. Yours maybe? The elderly couples we see & think I want that.

      Well go & ask them this? How did you make it work? Have you had any bad fights where you hurt each other & wanted to leave? The answer will be yes. Yet they loved each other & made it work because we learn through our mistakes in love? I certainly have & do. Its when I make permenant lifetime improvements to be a better me. For me for I never want to repeat that mistake in hurting the women I fell in love with or any other human in such a wrong way. I fall & take sideways steps when becoming a better more mature version of me. Who doesn’t date or get in another relationship till I am certain I’ve learnt, changed & mean it. Yes I’m hard on myself like that because I’ve a big loving heart who after time sees clearly what I did wrong & how I should have acted & spoken. It doesn’t happen overnight to make permanent traits positive ones. It takes practice. Learning till the day I die. That’s me who will & says here im forever learning to be the wiser me. That is a promise I make to me. Forever now, tomorrow & present. Its taken me a year this time & I’ll swear here. Fuck it hurt. Regret. Yes for in losing the woman I wanted to grow old with. Seeing the hurt I caused by not thinking & reacting in pain whether it either her or my fault. That’s the thing I have always forgiven & mean it. Forgiving myself is another subject. With time I do. When I see & feel the changes from my blue eyes the majority of the time. Yes I occasionally slip. Yet I see my triggers, how they’re triggered & I’m proud too say the correct words & actions in the mature living natured way that I didn’t do in the past. No I’ve not seen her since. Do I love her. Yes I do. For the four loves of my life I always will. For every reason. Season & till my heart stops beating. I’ve been close to death. There is no afterlife, Gods, reincarnation (if there is I’m coming back as a Willy Wag Tail:) You get colder, fuck you know it when its happening. For me everyday, Sunrise I make a silent prayer & try my best. Love as many moments that I breathe. Do what I say I’m going to do. I wasn’t always like this. The saying the same things in life are often the best is because they are. Savouring my daily coffee. Ordinary adventures become extraordinary. Make that dream a goal. A reality. If we fail. We tried our best. Live life being our best. Be happy. Be realistic.Forgive & ffs mean it! Pick yourself up & keep going. For one day we will stop. Die. Ive made too many excuses & repeated them repeatedly. Dick head! Think with my first brain. I got ahead of myself. I dreamt too much. I I II. Here’s my promise. To you wondererous Woman I emotionally hurt, who did the same to me as well. Yes the One I love. Kept my promise & remained faithful to what was, what I still want, would love to say this too you, I let go now because I love you. No excuses given nor wanted or expected. I write here saying all was my fault. That is part true. True that I did & didn’t do. I can only speak of myself. As can you. We could’ve made this work. I wanted too. I want too. But what I want isn’t what you want. Me being onto hope & faith is therefore wrong & not respecting either of us.Not so Simple, because thats me, the man who doesnt give up so easily because he’s passionate in everything I do in life. I love you.

      P.S. I’ve been sober this entire year, don’t miss it. Smile on the inside for I’ve said my long winded response as usual. Its true the truth sets us free. Remember what I comitted when I said what I said. To you, For me.

      I never thought Id say this. I hope you reconnect with Tony as you recently wrote on here which did hurt(,I always suspected that btw from the beginning) for obvious reasons. Why I was jealous on many occasions with you & FB. Yet without FB we would’ve never fell in love twenty years after high school. The woman who was a young mans secret crush come true. How many can say that happens. Both admit we are twin flames. Fuck anyone who thinks differently or disbelieves it. I did. I do. We both did. You may not & guess what? It was worth it all for me. Thank you S. Thank you So Much. Xo

    4. themysteriousgirl
      December 20, 2016 at 6:12 am

      @The proof was YOU how can i find you?

    5. @MysteriousWoman
      December 21, 2016 at 3:01 pm

      Considering I didn’t expect any response to what I wrote, I’m quite surprised to say the least.

      The question is no mystery for I reside at the same place currently.It’s now renovated to a degree. Speaking of.degrees, I’m soon to be starting what I’ve always wanted to do since a child. No, not a pilot or pirate ;)…a new pathway(attending university)that’ll guide me towards what I’ve always been passionate about. What ive always desired to do. Now becoming my reality. Lucky for me it’s literally down the road. A year ago I never would have thought this possible with my past train of thought. That is unequivocally thanks to her inspirational self. Plus a brief meeting with Mr Grim Reaper. He doesn’t sugarcoat his scythe like words. They’re sharp & too the point. My mobile is the same. Funnily enough I’ve reactivated FB after a six month hiatus. I’ll change my privacy settings temporarily just in case it’s YOU..?

      • Curious
        January 19, 2017 at 2:10 pm

        Type her initials(author)

    6. H
      December 28, 2016 at 2:02 pm

      Its funny how we expected each other to be the ones we imagined , the ones we wished to have seen and heard all of this.You said it your self, the thing is that we are too passionate about things and life.But i do feel very lucky to have this passion about things and i dont care if i dont get anything in return. I want to give them good energy, i want them to evolve even if that means leaving me.
      I m sorry for not being Her ,but thank you so much for this words. You are really special to me.
      I d love to hear more from you.

    Leave a Reply