Me1: I wish I could just stay happy. Its so fleeting when I am.
Me2: Don’t kid yourself, you’re never happy. You just pretend you are so people dont ask you awkward questions.
Me1: Maybe you’re right. But I do want to be happy. Doesn’t that count for something?
Me2: It makes it even worse. You cant have what you want. Familiar refrain, no?
Me1: Yeah it is. But at least I have hope it will get better.
Me2: Do you? Should you? When are you going to face reality and accept the truth?
Me1: What do you mean?
Me2: You’ve lived long enough to know what to expect from life. Why do you think things are going to to get better?
Me1: Because I’m a good person, at least I try to be.
Me2: No, no, no. What you are, is a fucking loser.
Me1: Thats not true. I have a good job.
Me2: What the job your work at all day long that doesnt even pay you enough to pay your rent?
Me1: Well, yeah, but I’m smart and I’ll do better eventually.
Me2: If you really were smart shouldn’t you be doing better now?
Me1: I can’t be a loser. She loves me!
Me2: LMAO. Always comes back to her huh? If she loves you why haven’t you see her in a year and a half?
Me1: You know why. She’s with someone now, but someday she’ll want to be with me, I know it.
Me2: She was right, you really are delusional. She could have been with you and she chose someone else. She didnt love you then, she certainly doesnt now. She probably doesnt even remember who you are.
Me1: She remembers me, she has to!
Me2: Why? Because you think she writes you anonymous letters on a random website you never discussed with her? Because throughout your religious social media stalking of her you thought you saw some ‘signs’? Face it, if she ever loved you she wouldnt have just abandoned you, cut off all communication, ignored your very existence, and left you so utterly alone. And more than anything else, thats what you are isnt it? Completely alone.
Me2: Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you had sex?
Me1: I…I dont remember.
Me2: When was the last time you kissed someone?
Me1: I dont remember.
Me2: When was the last time you had a date? When was the last time you even texted a girl you were interested in?
Me1: I dont remember.
Me2: Well, its been a long time, huh? Dont you get it? How could you ever expect her to want to be with you? Nobody wants you. You’re ugly. You’re fat. You’re weird. You’re poor. There’s 4 billion women out there and none of them want you because you are so worthless.
Me1: Maybe I am worthless. What should I do?
Me2: Well, I’ve been telling you for years to kill yourself.
Me1: I dont want to. It could never be bad enough for me to do that.
Me2: I hope youre right. Tell you what. Why dont you get drunk again tonight. Watch some porn, masturbate, forget how lonely you are for a few minutes. Maybe when you wake up tomorrow all your problems will be gone.
Me1: Ok Ill try.