This is not a chat so I’m not breaking my word, at least technically. ????
Okay. I don’t know what kind of ‘times of distress’ you were saying. I hope you’re doing well. Please know that I always keep you in my prayers and I trust that Jehovah can take perfect care of your situation. Also, please always remember that I’m doing this with your best interest in mind. Nesh, kahit selfish ako, ayaw kita masaktan. And believe me. My situation right now is not beneficial for a special friend.
I made a promise to myself not to speak with you until next year. I’m sorry I didn’t know it’s causing you such strain pala. Hindi ka nag reply kaya akala ko sinusuportahan mo ako sa desisyon ko. I’m so sorry for putting you in such situation. Nesh, I’m doing this for the both of us. Remember when I told you I will stop being so expressive to you when I think it’s no longer healthy for me? Diba you wanted to use my mind in dealing with this? Sabi mo dapat maging matalino tayo. I’m doing that now.
I hope you understand that I also have to help myself. Ikaw rin diba? May pamilya ka jan na kelangan attention mo. Sila ang priority mo. Ako rin. Mama and Daddy ko, actually, pati mga kapatid ni mama at mga pinsan ko, kelangan ng attensyon ko. Binabawi ko yung mga taon na hindi ko sila nabigyan ng panahon ko.
Sa totoo lang, sobrang hirap ng sitwasyon ko ngayon, Nesh. Probably the biggest trial by far. Plus I’m not healthy now. I also have a fight to battle as well. And I’m having a hard time accepting all the changes. Nahihirapan tlga ako. Sobra. Kaya sana maintindihan mo kung ano man pagkukulang ko. Wag ka rin mag alala masyado sa akin. Mahal na mahal ako ni Jehovah God. Di nya ako pababayaan. 🙂 Pero sorry kung naisip ko na lumayo muna sayo. Falling for an opposite sex is the last of my priorities, Nesh. The problem is everytime I keep my communication with you, I can’t help but need your attention all the more. I don’t want that. I can’t allow myself to fall especially for someone who isn’t ready to catch me. I don’t have the luxury to invest my emotions for an opposite sex now. And I’m also quite weak to keep myself from falling for you. Please understand me, Nesh. Sorry talaga hindi ko naisip na nahihirapan ka pala. Kahit anong gawin ko, selfish ata tlga ako. Pasensya na ha.
Nesh, please alagaan mo health mo ha. Napansin ko lang sa instagram post ni waldo, mejo nag gain ka ng weight. Ewan kung sa picture lang ba pero parang lumobo ang mukha mo. Hehe. Gwapo ka parin naman. Hehe. Pero tandaan mo sana hindi na healthy ang overweight. Wag lalampas sa BMI please. Kumain ka ng healthy. Wag ka magkakasakit ha. Tsaka narinig ko rin kay Jemina na madalas kang lumalabas sa ministry. Masaya ako para sayo. 🙂 Mukhang ang init ng Pilipinas ngayon kahit December kaya please magbaon ka ng tubig palagi. Nakaka dehydrate ang sobrang init at delikado rin sa heat stroke. Kaya please lang, uminom ka naman ng maraming tubig, please.
Wag ka sana magagalit sa akin ha. Hindi pa kasi tlga tamang panahon eh. Please lang alagaan mo sarili mo. Kelangan ka ng pamilya mo. So please, please, please take care of yourself in all aspects, lalo na spiritually and physically. Tama yan. You don’t need a woman as your “inspiration.” You have a wonderful mom, sister, and brothers!
I don’t know until when I’ll be a part of your life, Nesh. But in case this is all we’ve got, please know that you have made mine so much better! You have so much of an impact in my life. Thank you for helping me become a better person by simply being a good person yourself. Next year, Nesh, ikaw na bahala kung gusto mo pa bumalik sa buhay ko. Di kita pipilitin. Pero now until this year ends, I hope you undserstand that we both need this silence. ????