• It’s time

    by  • December 1, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    It’s time and time to another New Year is drawing close

    close so close

    At the stroke of midnight
    When others kiss happily

    I will force myself to do what you want me to

    I will let you go
    and put my dream to rest for what it is
    for what it always must have been

    a dream
    nothing more
    nothing less

    I guess that’s what love really is anyway,

    Why not now?
    I am preparing myself for it
    it’s the hardest thing I have ever done in my life
    and I have done a *few* toughies
    I always needed mental cornerstones
    4th of July my personal Independence Day
    Thanksgiving turlly a day to reflect and give thanks
    New Years Eve the stepping stone into new
    chapters of my life

    blah blah who cares

    It’s just time
    while I didn’t even believe in any kind of hope
    I must have still had some underlying

    why else would I be feeling, writing this
    writing this, yeah, what for, to whom

    Farewell is close even though you let me go
    quite some time ago

    It’s just time cause love is but a dream
    and dreams but last a moment
    maybe it lingers a bit but that’s just that

    I tell myself that through your silence
    I feel you still and hear your words
    whispering *please don’t ever leave me*
    It simply makes me feel a bit better
    gives me a little dignity
    self worth
    instead believing your actions of
    more or less wordless just
    fading me out of you

    I know I live
    I always survive
    It’s what I do (not like I have a choice but hey..)

    It’s time
    Time to tell myself that I was right to begin with
    love is but a dream – you were mine
    the most lucid, emotional, profound dream of my life

    May I find the reason and purpose for all those years
    someday, may you already have yours.

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