• A Recursive Algorithm Not Dependent on the Independent Variable

    by  • December 1, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Miss You • 10 Comments

    I miss you.

    Here I am, having all of these things to do a slight distance away but I’m stuck missing you like some desperate, horny, giddy teenager who is hopeful enough to believe that the voice jerking me around on this website belongs to you. You’ve literally put your hands on me, pressed your body against me in so many ways that it’s hard to believe that you don’t feel the same way. Your eyes. Your stare . . . the soulful smile behind those beautiful eyes as you observe me during those joyful moments we get to share. Yet this is all we get for now. Not-so-misplaced communication in a public forum where it is more likely than not that we are mere strangers reaching out for an idealization of an ugly truth.

    It’s true that I am not prepared to make any hard decisions yet. There are too many layers of bullshit invading both of our lives right now to jeopardize what currently lies before us. It doesn’t stop me from missing you. Even when you’re standing right in front of me. Not from calling out your name as I drive around this out-of-town town. Not from emotionally insulating myself from the idea that I may one day leave her for you, even if you can’t bring yourself to meet me halfway.

    I’m already yours. My body yearns for you. My soul wants yours. My mind won’t allot me a moment without you. Sometimes I breathe in deeply and can swear that you’re right here making me so clenched and tight and scattered all over the freeway in confused knots. My God, I love you. I’m not playing. I love you . . .

    . . . and I don’t know what to do about it.

    10 Responses to A Recursive Algorithm Not Dependent on the Independent Variable

    1. Frank j.
      December 2, 2016 at 12:30 am

      If you love them tell them. Or show them. Spend time with them. Because if I’ve learned anything it’s this: words are beautiful and powerful. But easy to give with and take away with; show them so they can see it.

    2. Bundle
      December 2, 2016 at 7:51 am

      You’re not my person . . . in case you were hoping that
      my letters are intended for you .

    3. Bundle
      December 2, 2016 at 7:59 am

      My sentence hasn’t aligned properly ,
      so should be read as
      ” You’re definitely not my person “

    4. What can I do?
      December 2, 2016 at 1:44 pm

      What can I do to make this easier for you, to give you more Clarity? What can I do to reduce this space between us and bring us closer together?

      I love you too, with my whole heart,
      The guy who would do anything for you

    5. J
      December 2, 2016 at 3:50 pm

      I can only hope we are more than strangers.

      I will wait. I will. I love you.

    6. Re: Bundle
      December 3, 2016 at 9:11 pm

      It is safe to say that I never thought your letters were intended for me. You write a bit like me but not like them.

    7. It isn't so easy.
      December 3, 2016 at 9:30 pm

      So, for now I come here. I do spend time with her. Yes, her. Not a J or a Bundle or a guy. It’s complicated. Life hard.

    8. Heartshards
      December 6, 2016 at 3:18 pm

      @author, this is amazingly written. Most of us dream of coming here and finding a letter from “our person” to us written in such a way. I think we’ve been hopeful about each other even. Lol

      @J, aww. J is a good initial. I wonder. Anyway, don’t make promises like that. You never know what the future holds.

      @Frank I agree totally. Showing is always best. When you care and really do love someone, it shows even when you try to camouflage it, because you can’t help the things you do for love, esp in the beginning.

      @theguywhowoulddoanythingforyou, that is beautiful. Unfortunately sometimes there is nothing you can do but wait patiently, and if it’s meant to be, your faith will see it to fruition.

      I wish everyone luck. And I love knowing I am not alone. Thank you all for your writing, no matter who it is intended for.

    9. @J
      December 6, 2016 at 8:09 pm

      This is what I would write to a J, if these were my words they’d be to him. I still love him, the feelings are I breakable. Love from a K

    10. Thank you, Heartshards.
      December 7, 2016 at 7:17 pm

      This part is easy. The clarity that accompanies falling in love is strangely beautiful.

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