• Lonely and Distant

    by  • November 28, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Lost Love • 0 Comments

    It’s been almost 3 years since my first heartbreak. It was a raging battle between my heart, mind and soul. A battle a nearly survive. I still remember the first 9 months post-breakup, the emptiness and hollow I’ve been left with. How I struggled to get back to life from my severe depression, the low point I reached where I wanted to just vanish and stop breathing. How I fought all that by myself, away from my family, my friends and away from my country. The feelings of disappointment, abandonment, loss. It’s funny how time flies so fast you nearly feel it passing! It feels like yesterday, the tears I shed, the sadness I felt. However, I wasn’t able to fight the loneliness, instead I’ve isolated myself from the surroundings, kept myself away from involving in any new relationships. I feel like I’m missing out on a LOT! I don’t know how to start dating nor starting new conversations! I did me wrong when I tried to stay in the safe side for too long! I sent a message to the world that I’m open and ready for new beginnings, the world is just taking forever to send someone! I’m 28 now and not sure how long the world wants to wait! I think I’m just too pushy and clingy when it comes to finding love. I’ve tried so many times to give up on love, but I can’t, I want to find love. I know how they say; let love finds you, and love comes in the right time, but what if love lost the way? what if I need to take control and find it myself? what if I give up on finding love and grew old alone? these what ifs are gonna be the death of me. I tried keeping myself occupied, read books, cooking, spending extra time with family, learning new things, but it’s that one time before bedtime, when all the feelings of loneliness rush out to me and keep me up all night! I hope 2017 is the year I find love!

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