It’s raining now.
If I’m honest with myself, when I first went to sushi with Tom and he told me that I’d once asked him out to the movies in high school and he didn’t show up. It took me awhile to even remember this event. When he brought it up though, my first thoughts were just that this was why I was here, well that and I was in sore need of distraction from the black pit that would open up in me when I wasn’t keeping myself busy with school or work.
I thought hey maybe there’s something to learn from this little piece of my past that’s come back around.
I wasn’t particularly interested in him. He was too much like my ex, playing video games all the time and being drunk on whiskey when he wasn’t at work or school.Even though he was pretty easy to read, that he wanted to be a player with how he spoke about different women he interacted with in his life, and everything about him made me uncomfortable,reminded me of repeating history ..or if not repeating it then falling back into some bad habits and ways of thinking for me.
Still.. I brought up potentially being roommates. I thought about what could happen if I inserted myself as a positive female influence.
And then I decided I was really was tired of how guys kept trying to tell me things without opening their mouths in regards to their emotional availability or how their interest in me would fall flat after a date or two and they’d wonder off somewhere else to be with someone else.
That chasm in me expanded.
Well at least he was honest when he sat me down at the bar and told me he wanted to see both me and his ex.
I don’t remember what I said. I don’t care. I might have appeared smarter if I walked away completely right then and there but I didn’t..I hung around maybe once more, he wanted to take his friend to a strip club and I’d said I would go. Never actually made it into the club though.
He tried texting a few times after but I kept my responses punctuated. He tried to emote with Guns and Roses November Rain and the Cranberries. Ha.ha.ha.
I felt like a really sad joke.