• Yes

    by  • November 16, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 2 Comments

    Yes, I called you my friend, and keep telling myself it would never work. It would have, if this were years ago. YOU called me your sister, though. It’s nuts how we are both dancing around each other, so careful to avoid mistakes. I told you secrets today. Secrets I should never have expressed to you, but I have no one else to talk to. Last night was a disaster and you still managed to love me through my flaws enough to show extreme kindness and not to mention, no judgement. I’m sorry that I expressed those secrets today. How horrible am I to have placed such a burden of knowing the worst parts of me onto you? I want to be the loving, kind, faithful wife. I do. I didn’t ask to find home in another, when I felt empty inside. I can’t stop my thoughts of you. But I didn’t tell you that. You keep asking why. Why I do it? Get lost in a sea of tears and alcohol? Can you handle the truth? I’m covering my feelings for you. I’m covering the fact that it gets harder to resist you each day. Harder to resist my delusional thoughts that this may actually be genuine. You could never trust me after a start like this. We both know it. So we know it could never work. I tried to leave him. I did. He makes it impossible. He needs me. And they need me. There’s really nowhere else to go right? So why confess these feelings at all? Let’s just enjoy each other’s company when we can get it.

    Your presence makes me happy. I woke up this morning with eyes swollen from crying and you made me comfortable enough to go to work. By the way, thanks for your reality check. It’s hard to sleep tonight, but it needed to be done. I love how you express real care, real thought, real concern.

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    2 Responses to Yes

    1. That is up to you.
      November 16, 2016 at 12:57 pm

      Re: finding a place to go. There are plenty of places to “go” that don’t have to include overt acts of betrayal. I’m honestly still not sure if you’re that one girl yet. However, in the event that you are, I extend the offer to communicate and share and find out who the other really is. Why the other is. In a less public space yet still hidden in the interwebs. Sure, it’s still crossing a line but something needs to happen. I’ll mention right now that I am the author of every letter you just commented on. So, reach. Let’s figure this out. If we aren’t each other’s people, so be it. If we are, so be that.


    2. Betrayed
      November 16, 2016 at 3:41 pm

      For God’s sake what ever you do, do not end up in an affair. It will devastate everyone including yourself. So do everyone a favor and leave your SO before you “Accidentally” end up in an affair ( if you haven’t already). Either cut contact with this person and continue with thre person you are currently with, or break it off with him/her and save everybody the pain. Things like this never end well trust me. Being betrayed by one who supposedly loves you is the worst pain anyone could ever endure. Save them from your selfish self. Just. Fucking. STOP!!!



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