I need to know. Yes? or no? Should I tell you the truth? Should I tell you that I yearn for you at night? Not necessarily in a sexual fantasy type of way; although, those have made their way in there, but more so just to be in your presence. It makes me happy. It makes me feel warm and cozy.
As the commenter stated, “Women don’t like to chase.” The truth is, I WOULD, but given my “situation, there is no way I can chase… not for the mere chance that I am not alone in this… if you know me, you know that I hate fear yet it rules my life somehow. Everytime I try to face my fears, I wind up flat on my face. So so cat take the risk… too much to lose. If you feel the same way, I know you are terrified too. I know how much you have to lose as well.
I really want you to know. So much around us. The tragedies, I have to wonder if they are because we never found each other in time. I know that as you read this, you are wondering if it is really me. And I take a pleasure in that, even though I want you to be sure.
When our eyes meet, I feel guilty. It’s almost a betrayal. Our eyes speak to each other, even if it’s only a split second. But I still can’t shake the feeling that you are are still playing with me…toying with my mind.
If I can only have your friendship, I am okay with that. But I am so torn. If I tell the truth, that shows intent to be with you right? So I cant. That is shrouded in betrayal. And if I don’t I am just lost in this torment forevermore. This is torture, cruel and inhumane punishment.
When I don’t say it back, know that I still do. Please.
It would never work with us anyway. Right?