To feel like I am being played. I now realize you aren’t here. I’ve looked everywhere. The music? Seems like a recording that has been placed somewhere. I guess I will just have to get use to it being around until batteries run low. Maybe kids put it there. I just don’t know what to think anymore. One thing that makes sense is that if you wanted contact you would contact me. All I can do is just assume I had it all wrong. I hope you are happy and living life to the fullest surrounded by a bunch of people you trust and enjoy being around. I am always here for you. I must start living life again. I love you more than you will ever know. I won’t try and force you to contact. Its just not my style. I want people in my life who want to be in my life, that trust me and I them. You are always welcome in my life. My door is always open to you and will never shut, but you would have to come to the door you had shut. I hope your taking care of yourself. I worry so much about that that. I now realize I can’t control what you do with your life or your health. Do I want reconciliation? You know the answer to that (Yes I do) , but you have made it clear I’m just not one you trust.