I love you.
I’ve loved you for almost two years.
I haven’t told you that.
I’ve told you that you mean the world to me. That I like you too much to lose. That I don’t care that you live 1700 miles away.
While loving you I’ve learned to be patient. I think I’ve also learned to be kind.
I know this is hard. I know I’m on the other side of the country and it feels like life is falling apart. I know I can be more work when you’re already drowning in it.
I’m trying to give you a little space.
And i’m so afraid you’ll forget me.
You’re all I want, and I hope you really give us this chance. This year has been hell but I think we’re worth the work. I know deep down you think that two.
Today I went to a memorial service for a friends grandfather. It was very grounding. All the people together to mourn. All the eulogies and hymns. I couldn’t stop thinking that you are the only person I want with me till the end. I want you, and I’m ready to give up all my rules to be closer to you. I want you and I want a chance for us to be together for real. I want a chance for kids with you. Cute kids. Kids that I know will be loved beyond their wildest dreams because family is just as important to you as it is to me.
So for the first time I’m giving you space. And I know this is dumb because you’ve asked for space before (and even now I have to laugh because space in the digital age is so different. There couldn’t be more physical space between us.) But I know I am the one that is ruining this. Me needing you is making things worse.
Please M, see that I’m trying and that we still work. See that I love you.
Because I’ve been so scared to say it. So scared that I never have.
I love you.
I love your work ethic, and the way you laugh. i love that you’re smart and caring. I love so much about you I panic when I think of a possible future where we don’t work.
I never had a dream man before, but then I found you.
I love you so much.
I’m forever yours