• Hey listen

    by  • November 8, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Love - Pure and Simple • 5 Comments

    Come baby let me take you to the journey of knowing me.You till now know me as much as I have let you know today I will take you to my inner depths the deepest thoughts which I have not shared neither going to share with anyone..
    The words might be haphazard you arrange them according to your choice..
    As on today’s world i live my life compartmentalized manner it’s not hypocrisy it’s my way of living in my own terms I define it a bit selfish style however till now I have been living like this ..Two worlds in one I adjust another I live making adjustments …puzzled don’t be ..
    Let me clarify in my world i live happily now I have worked hard for that you know I am not the one to give up so I haven’t many wrongs I set right and made it work I came back from the ugliest end but now the dust has settled my angel make me smile every day..but the cord that broke is not going to come back to its original state we try to look forward but something’s can’t be mended you know that hence life pulls on no regrets I adjust accept cos I am wrong I know somewhere but now life is good ..whether am I fully satisfied if you ask I will not answer you have to look into my eyes to read…

    Now coming to another world that’s my breather I have lived panorama of experience here.To be honest it’s all illusions..my heart said it’s your presence I accepted and carried on..I might be wrong i might be right but depending on this I have called,risked,many things in my life..top it all I lost my mind,heart myself…
    Truly I don’t know anything about you,the social media ,web platform make me recognize You..I know I am not going to meet the most important entity of my life ever
    It’s still a mystery why my heart calls you why I long to change situations..it’s simply craziness..
    Do you feel we don’t know that it will never workout or do I expect you to break ties of your beautiful world and come to me ,No,never.. neither I want to break anything then you might ask what we need well no perfect answer I can give..
    I thought over many times as you did too,we broke off without breaking , nothing achieved other than it generated more longing..
    It pained brought so many sleepless nights rocked sanity and brought here..
    So many phases it brought but above everything what stood tall is the bonding though it’s a guessing game but still I feel your hand on mine..
    Now coming to the point why I am writing this to you will you believe if I say speaking to you made me feel so light..
    I don’t linger in past dear I know very well what is what I am very focused and it’s in my nature whatever I do I do it diligently be it job, responsibilities ya loving..
    I think a lot that’s true and I think about us cs I feel this is real and it’s true but being helpless situations I started killing my feelings
    Cos I never expect miracles to happen ..
    I don’t ever think to leave or stop loving you its not possible for me and that’s proven innumerable times..
    But I thought to kill the longing but never dreamed that it will make me numb inside that I would not feel to seek your love…
    I am standing here only because of me nothing cos of you..
    Life is a learning may be it made me learn something again..
    Hope I will find myself again…sooner or later
    As I am outside putting smile I will be smiling inside too..
    I loved you truly so don’t want to cause any pain my obsessive longing might bring it so wanted to kill myself from inside
    I was wondering why the numbness thought over got this so bared to my only ears I long to speak…
    Stay blessed..

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    5 Responses to Hey listen

    1. L
      November 8, 2016 at 7:17 pm

      There are times when I wish I could step into this other world, this other life, where I can acknowledge this undeniable connection. This connection that I’ve tried to ignore, tried to accept, tried to smother, and no matter what I try, I constantly find myself failing. This connection that I stepped away from, that I broke off in the best way that I thought I could. Which itself was a failure but was the best that I could do.

      But I find myself fearful that my breaking off will leave me forever empty.

      How can your gaze hold so much? I fear this. I fear looking up and meeting your eyes. Partially because I fear that this crazy insane feeling that had overwhelmed me will no longer be there when I dare to look up. Partially because I fear that looking up will bring me back into this whirlwind of you, where I find myself unable to break away.

      In this other world I want more than anything to simply be able to know you. To know why this is.

      But this is a world that lives in imagination. That I don’t know how to make real. But I long so for it. And I don’t know how to stop this longing. And I truly wish, more than anything, that I knew the secret language where we could simply speak of this. But alas, this eludes me.




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    2. Would it please you?
      November 9, 2016 at 8:36 am

      To adjust with me?




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    3. @ L on
      November 10, 2016 at 5:48 pm

      Why don’t we just start texting. That’s a good start. We won’t expect anything from one another. We just text and then if we decide we would like to meet, then we meet. I agree that we have an undeniable connection. I would love a chance to learn more about you. Just text hello to me to open that door. I won’t push for anything. We will go at your pace. We will just go with the flow.

      I know this wasn’t a letter for me, but I to have a fairytale. Thanks for letting me vent a response.

      Love Always,
      EM ( its very real to me)




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    4. L
      November 15, 2016 at 7:30 pm

      @EM

      A text. Such a seemingly simple request. But one that requires pretext. And I have no cause, no pretext, to allow me to send a simple text. It’s not a reasonable request. How can I reach out with a text when it’s been months since I’ve had any cause to interact with you and I’ve resorted back to masking my emotions and feigning unawareness of you. Things I struggle with.

      My ask. Open the door with a simple hello.




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    5. @L
      November 16, 2016 at 7:11 pm

      I’ve texted the number I have for you several times. You don’t respond. I’ve even called. Its a working number. It shows you as the owner when I looked it up. Me texting hello has been going on for months. I’m just starting to realize maybe your intentions are to not open the door you have shut. Maybe the best thing I can do for you is to just go silent. Maybe I’m hurting you more by pushing you to open the door. Maybe I’m causing you heartache by hanging on. I love you so much and hate the thought that I’m stopping you from what you want to do and that’s let’s me go. I’m starting to feel selfish by pushing you so hard to open the door. I don’t want to cause you more hurt. I don’t want to cause you more trouble. Yes I would love to reconcile, but its selfish for me to want that if you don’t. My number hasn’t changed. A simple hello from you would get the ball rolling. My intentions are good. I don’t want to hurt you. I just don’t know what to do. People reconcile after years of being apart with a simple hello all the time. It really is that simple.




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