• Just maybe

    by  • November 7, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 0 Comments

    It’s been a week and here I am constantly checking my phone wishing you’ll change your mind about breaking up with me. I still remember that Friday night vividly, I was in a business trip with my colleagues having drinks as I wait for you to beep me up telling me you safely arrived from home. I wish I never asked you that question so we can pretend that we’re still okay and we can make it and maybe I can change your mind to make you commit to me finally. But maybe because of too much alcohol and this particular feeling that you are slipping away from me I ask you the question that broke my heart again to pieces. I asked you if you want us to stop doing this thing and to stop talking to each other, I did not expect you’ll give up on me that easily. I wish you’d never been so honest of your feelings . You told me you want us to stop talking, doing this undefined relationship. You never considered my feelings, you just made that decision on your own. You explained on why it would not be good for me to stay with you. Its been always about what you want. You’re not ready for a commitment, I understand. You’re not looking for anything serious, okay I can wait. And I don’t know why I didn’t argue with you that night as you said I’m better off without you that I can find another man who’s better than you. Maybe because of too much alcohol I cant find words to argue or fight for what I want. I remember your explanations that its better if we call this thing off while we don’t yet hate each other. And all I can say is Okay. You told me to go get some sleep and goodnight. I answered “yeah, thanks” and “goodnight”. You never replied. Its been a week and I’m fighting the urge to text you that I miss you so much and its so hard to break up the habit of talking to you everyday. That’s why I’m here writing this letter instead of texting you. I don’t want to beg for your love and commitment anymore. I should have listened to my instincts telling me that you will not be good for me but I don’t regret meeting you. Even for few months you made me happy. You told me you’ll stay but I guess you’re really not serious about me and my feelings. You act like you cared but you didn’t that’s why its so easy for you to call this thing off before we even started. There are so many things I want to say to you things I never said that night. It may look like that I’m okay with your decision but I’m not. I realize that there’s no point for me to argue with you when you made that decision. Its been always about you and until the end its still about what you want. Maybe there will still be some nights when I’ll miss you so bad and I’ll be fighting the urge to text you. Maybe there will be some days when you’ll never cross my mind. Just maybe I’ll forget about you.

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