It was never how I intended it to be. I always imagined I would be in a relationship with someone before I slept with them. I couldn’t have imagined losing my virginity to someone I met on the night. I did, but I don’t regret it at all. I refuse to regret that first moment. You were incredibly sweet towards me and I liked you immediately. Telling me you wanted to take me on a date and see me, that I was too cute, how you couldn’t believe I would want to be there with someone like you. I very much did want to be there with you, you were incredibly attractive and told me all the things I wanted to hear. In hindsight perhaps I should have been more weary of that but I’d only had guys be very blunt and upfront about wanting to sleep with me, you at least made me feel like I was the only one that mattered. I must say that’s incredibly impressive, you’ve really got the art of fooling a girl down to a T. I wouldn’t have picked you as the type. Losing my virginity to you, even on what’s turned out to be a one night stand was the easy thing. Not hearing from you was the hard thing. I became obsessive at checking my phone and a very paranoid person. I didn’t understand how someone could even discuss the restaurant we would go to on our date and when and then not even bother to message me.
So this is a mixed letter of sorts. Thank you for making me feel special in the moment. Thank you for being caring at the time, but next time… when you’re with another girl and it’s her first time too… tone it down a bit please. The pretense of making plans to go on a date and then not texting hurt me more than the physical pain of losing my virginity. And you know how much that hurt me because you were incredibly sweet and tried to make me feel as comfortable as possible.
But I don’t regret losing my virginity to you. In a way, you were exactly what I needed and it’s probably better it was a one night stand, well for me personally. It was awkward enough having sex for the first time, awkward enough bumping into you on campus, I don’t know if I could have handled the awkwardness of a date and then maybe being let down when we were both sober.
So, I wish you the best, and thank you for making me feel special whilst you took my virginity.