• Hurt people hurt people

    by  • October 30, 2016 • To You • 3 Comments

    I honestly thought I must have hurt you in some way. Could not understand. Except I know now, you just treated me badly over and over and over (ten years) because you felt like it and I let you.

    It’s nothing deeper than that. Yes hurt people hurt people, but I didn’t hurt you, not until after the last straw, which you drew in February and I have tried to reconcile with it ever since.

    You bloody bastard. I’ll never recover.

    And for you, it’s just fun and games. You could never admit you just didn’t give a fuck, and I’m the one left with the broken pieces, unable to mend, unable to move on, unable to forget.

    There’s a point where one should stop messing with anothers heart. I believed you were good and so you relentlessly messed with me because you are sick and twisted.

    I want to call you and scream for the rest of my life until the pain goes, but I can’t, instead I just spend every day in pain.

    I HATE YOU.

    You knew how I felt, it was all laid out, you abused me for no reason. There was no explanation.

    Oh but “how can I pretend to be so innocent”, lol, hahaha, that part of me is gone, the goodness, gone, congrats fuckface! You stripped me of innocence, but of my belief in love, of my heart, of my soul, of joy, of being able to move on. I was so fucked with I can’t move on. I don’t want you and if I do, it’s only in a hope that you could explain, help me to understand, help me to take the pain away.

    I just wanted to move on, and now I can’t. The memory of emotional abuse haunts me.

    And since you never cared – actions speak louder than words – you get to go on with life and experience the happiness you robbed me of.

    It’s not about letting you go, it’s about the part of me that you stole. And all that’s left is bitterness.

    You never gave me an explanation. I ask the gods, I ask the angels, I ask the universe, there is no answer other than it was just fun and games for you.

    I can accept the pain will never leave, but I will hate you till the day I die for it.

    This bitterness, this hatred, this obsession is not at all who I was, but its who I am now. GO TO HELL you sick fuck.

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    3 Responses to Hurt people hurt people

    1. @author
      October 30, 2016 at 4:20 am

      Is this said person worth so much energy still? People who emotionally abuse people for years love to hear everything your saying. It makes them feel powerful. The person you left or that left you, is hoping you never find happiness again. Hating someone so much does show in fact you love/loved them deeply. I bet it was tough to realize you didn’t have the same mental hold on them. That does hurt. It hurts deep. Seeing them living life as if unscarred and your stuck with scar tissue holding you down. That would be tough for anyone to handle. You want my opinion?
      You have got to change your mind set. Let me give an example: a caged bird! Its grown up being in a cage, limited on space. Its been fed all of its life, has never had to seek for food. Its protected by bars and knows nothing of being prey.

      If you let the bird out of the cage and you take the cage away so it can’t return, the bird is lost. Overwhelmed with fear. It now doesn’t have the bars for security. Its now feeling feelings of being prey for the first time. Its hungry and doesn’t know how to relieve it. Its tired but can’t sleep in fear of unknown atmosphere.
      The bird has a choice: survive or be prey…

      This letter shows how overwhelmed you are. You can either realize the true beautiful chance you have to start a fresh and live life uncaged with emotional bars, or you can stick by the cage in hopes of getting back in it.
      10 years is a long time to be caged emotionally. No one says the bird should get out and fly big open skies immediately, but it should venture out slowly and learn from others what to eat, where to sleep and how to stay away from predators. Eventually the bird has no limits with a lot of blue sky to fly in, with more confidence. It eventually looks down at the cage that held it for years and thinks to itself as it fly’s overhead ” I’m so glad I got out when I did. I would have never known these blues skies otherwise!”

      Best Wishes….




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    2. M
      October 31, 2016 at 12:22 pm

      Hello,
      Just thought I would tell you that I’m in the same boat
      I feel sick with bitterness; can’t let it go (as I know I need to) and realise its unhealthy to obsess this much.
      My kindest thoughts are with you – albeit they aren’t very kind these days. X




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    3. Author
      November 2, 2016 at 9:36 am

      To the first comment, wow! Beautiful! Inspiring! Thank you so much, that means so much and your words are something I need to really think about, they had a deep effect on me and I do see what you mean and I think you’re right.

      To M – Read the first comment! If you are in the same boat as me I hope you find it just an inspiring as I did. 🙂




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