I honestly thought I must have hurt you in some way. Could not understand. Except I know now, you just treated me badly over and over and over (ten years) because you felt like it and I let you.
It’s nothing deeper than that. Yes hurt people hurt people, but I didn’t hurt you, not until after the last straw, which you drew in February and I have tried to reconcile with it ever since.
You bloody bastard. I’ll never recover.
And for you, it’s just fun and games. You could never admit you just didn’t give a fuck, and I’m the one left with the broken pieces, unable to mend, unable to move on, unable to forget.
There’s a point where one should stop messing with anothers heart. I believed you were good and so you relentlessly messed with me because you are sick and twisted.
I want to call you and scream for the rest of my life until the pain goes, but I can’t, instead I just spend every day in pain.
I HATE YOU.
You knew how I felt, it was all laid out, you abused me for no reason. There was no explanation.
Oh but “how can I pretend to be so innocent”, lol, hahaha, that part of me is gone, the goodness, gone, congrats fuckface! You stripped me of innocence, but of my belief in love, of my heart, of my soul, of joy, of being able to move on. I was so fucked with I can’t move on. I don’t want you and if I do, it’s only in a hope that you could explain, help me to understand, help me to take the pain away.
I just wanted to move on, and now I can’t. The memory of emotional abuse haunts me.
And since you never cared – actions speak louder than words – you get to go on with life and experience the happiness you robbed me of.
It’s not about letting you go, it’s about the part of me that you stole. And all that’s left is bitterness.
You never gave me an explanation. I ask the gods, I ask the angels, I ask the universe, there is no answer other than it was just fun and games for you.
I can accept the pain will never leave, but I will hate you till the day I die for it.
This bitterness, this hatred, this obsession is not at all who I was, but its who I am now. GO TO HELL you sick fuck.