Do miss you bunches. I think about you all the time. I worry about you so much. I’ve read letters on this site about a person wanting to end their life. I don’t know if thats you or not writing those letters. I’ve done some thinking on the issue and what it would mean if you in fact did make the choice.
Look I’m not going to sit and write that i know where your coming from, because I don’t. Have I ever thought about taking my own life? To be honest I think 70%+ of the population has thought about it. Yes I have, but it was years ago and I knew I just wouldn’t do it, but thinking about it was better than facing what I was going through at the time. I don’t know how your mind works. I don’t know your full story. I can sit here and say that your family (even if you don’t get along) will be broken over it, but people who are contemplating such a rout don’t usually worry about it anyway. I would hope you never thought it was so bad that such a choice was the way out. I love you 100% and would love it if you stayed here on earth with me, even if we don’t see each other in person. Knowing you are alive and taking the journey of life is comforting to me. I dunno why, but it is. The world is better with such a complex human being that you are. Who knows, maybe you were put here to help others go through hard things. Maybe your being put through such obstacles so you have experience? What better a councillor than someone whos been there and done that? I would trust a counselor more if they had been where I was at. I don’t know what God has planned. I know that if you did make the choice to go through with it, I would have to learn and heal. I would be devastated. I would have no choice. So would everyone else. I couldn’t go to the funeral. I would want to remember your living face. The one that I think is the most gorgeous without makeup and right after you wake up. I know that sitting here writing a bunch of why nots to doing it is useless. I hope you aren’t contemplating such a final thing. I hope you stay here in this God forsaken world with me. I love you very much. I know people say that alot, but I mean it with all my heart. I wish you saw you the way I see you. If I had one wish and one wish only. I wouldn’t wish for money. I wouldn’t wish for excellent health. I wouldn’t wish for you to love me. I would wish that you saw your value. I wish you knew how needed you are. I’m not saying this to try and coax you out of not ending it, because it just doesn’t work that way. Its got to be bad if you are thinking of ending it. It would take more than my words to per sway you to continue with life, even when its hard. I will have to say that its been an honour loving someone so deeply. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. ( I would trade being female for male! 🙂 then maybe I would be enough and we would live happily ever after!) I would try and win your heart with my manly mating dance ;). Lmao! I just want you to know I am here for you. We are friends even if apart. I will back you 100%. I may not agree with it, but I back you 100%. Always will. You will always be my girl. If you ever wanted to reach out and text or call I am here and will at least offer you company and a good listener.