Experienced anything as severe as ian or monica, but then again they give it a different diagnosis than what I suspect affected me in early childhood through as recently as a few years ago.
Looking at the sum of my parts, I would almost consider it to be a learning disadvantage. Or maybe that’s how I want to see it. I want to believe that now I’ve worked to improve my inner dialogue… the truly negative voices I picture about how the world sees me may not have diminished but have plateaued out so that can better map out appropriate decisions for particular stimuli. I listened to The Four Agreements audiobook, and a lot of TED, If I encountered someone in my environment participating in something I found could be tasty or expose me to new and enjoyable things then I’d do it too. That was my treasure hunt, and it was important too.
I’m always error correcting.
Trying to learn from the environment I see around me and the people who occupy it. It’s important to note and learn from successful working actions and outcomes as you experience yourself and others.
A social network that has positive influence and affect are also key components of creating an upward trajectory of emotional well being and stability.
I’ve found this to lead towards more clear and concise decisions on my part in what I want to be to everything that I affect in my own environment. I’m not perfect by any means, but utilizing these methods has provided me with the tools to know right from wrong and modify my reactions as I see fit.
As for the music and bits I share on here sometimes it’s just because I enjoy it and want you to as well and sometimes because it has a message or feeling I wish to convey or am experiencing. This is a space that I can share and if you decide to follow my trail I can leave you with something that hits the mark for you, or that you can find some meaning or enjoyment in.
I understand this leaves a lot of room for interpretation on your end but I’m learning to better use my voice.
Maybe that’s not a sickness or deficiency on my end at all but just how we as a species work.