Your letter, while beautifully written, seems to have some silent understanding that you have a past history with whom you were writing and now things are silent. If that is the case, you are unfortunately not my guy; however, if you were my guy, THIS would be my response:
I hate it when you leave. I cherish every moment with you, every hug, every eye catching gaze, every word spoken, and every kind gesture. Please know that.
I thank you for spending time with us as a family, and I enjoy playing with you and my children, as if we were children again…even if it has to be short lived and it feels guilty. I enjoy the fun you bring to my life. I enjoy the self reflection you force me to see. I notice and appreciate every subtle change of subject you make when you see my feelings are becoming too much. You amaze me with how you know me so well.
I will accept your friendship graciously for however long you are willing to give it, but I will not cross the line. I will not cause anyone to feel disrespected, if I can help it. I do love you, and it is confusing. I never knew that connections existed this deep. I had no idea the love I THOUGHT I had was so ego based. This is so much more spiritual. I thought I had found it, until you looked into my eyes and seemed to know me better than anyone on the planet.
My heart was dead when I met you, REALLY met you. It had been slowly bleeding out with no bandages for so long. Know that. It’s so important that you know that you are the reason it burns a flame again.
There is a difference between knowing a person and feeling a person. You taught me that. Thank you. I hope you will remain in my life, even if it means we have to cover our pain of never being our true selves. I am so sorry that I didn’t wait long enough, but I felt I had. I had the strongest love in my heart that I had ever felt and I was so sure. Please forgive me. I love you.