So many questions and so on point in most ways. Trust is such a fragile thing! And it is horribly sad how one person can break your trust for the entire world! Yes, I feel you. Yes, I know you want me to believe your intentions are pure; however, you fail to show me. Or is that a special gift reserved for the next step? You not only tempt me to throw away my longest partnership, but my morals and values…on a chance, a belief, a trust, a blind leap of faith? My trust is so fragile that even if I believed, it wouldn’t last and I would eventually fail again and then you would lash out. We both know that you don’t forgive easily. Besides, I have already given away the best of me.
I want to thank you. I finally feel cared for again because of you. I feel wanted again, because of you. I feel special, as if I am appreciated and I matter, because of you. I feel like a woman again, because of you. But this has gone too far. TOO FAR. I must focus on my family.
Don’t get me wrong. I crave your presence; therefore, when you leave, my heart shatters. BUT we are best as friends as of now. It’s just the worst timing ever. It’s just too late. I’m sorry. My souls cries out for you, no matter how I try to silence it. But I can not give in… to lust, to emotions, to selfish needs…none of it. I am sorry, and I do love you. BUT YOU CAN NEVER KNOW.