• Addicted To Happy

    by  • October 19, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Depression • 1 Comment

    First I guess I’d like to thank everyone whose helped me. Tonight some friends of mine showed me what I have to do. What I have to do to get over her. Because if I don’t then I’ll hurt her. And I know what I need to do will hurt like hell. Staying away from her. Cutting myself off. Can I do this? Loose another friend. Loose more. After every fucking thing, all the shit I’ve lost! Why must I do it all again? Do I deserve this? Will I survive this? Why is everything so uncertain? Let this go. Let the good go. Cause I got plenty of the bad. I got great friends but when it comes to love, well shit. I’ve got some shit. Oh man. But I’ve written that down so many times. I’ve explained it over and over. I’m tired of it I guess. It’s scary to say by hey, I enjoy the low now. It’s become like home and it sucks. What’s worse, remembering that happy is a thing or being used to constant pain? People ask about my arm, they judge me, think I’m weak. But pain is where I’m the most comfortable. A warm blanket? A hug? An “I love you”? No, not anymore. They’re like a high, something only drugs and lies bring. And all this because of a girl… No. I fell apart long ago. This is just another crack. She’s a critical hit though. I’ll let it end. I’ll break, again. I just can let her fall. So here’s my thesis, Love is a drug that screws you. As much as you carve it away, it comes back. So if I recover won’t I just fall back down? Cuts, love, screaming, crying, blood, restless, crazy, me. I sit here in the dark as alone as the shadows themselves. Then I realize, I’m destroying my life. -Wolfgang

    One Response to Addicted To Happy

    1. no need for repitition
      October 21, 2016 at 9:39 am

      Perhaps it’s time for a change. Are you sure it’s the right thing to let her go?

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