• never real

    by  • October 17, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Acceptance • 8 Comments

    I was so sure. So sure. Why did it feel so real when all this time it was just in my head? I can only accept that my emotions do not apply to reality.

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    8 Responses to never real

    1. Nope
      October 17, 2016 at 3:42 pm

      You wasn’t , you were always wrong !




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    2. @author
      October 17, 2016 at 4:46 pm

      So your saying you realize you don’t love me?




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    3. Reality is for us to wakeup
      October 18, 2016 at 12:08 am

      Then I’m no different from you. Don’t let anyone make you believe your emotions aren’t real. They are. Real as they get. That’s the hardest part when two people felt such a connection. Why did it all fall apart. The hardest lesson I’ve had so far.




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    4. author
      October 18, 2016 at 4:32 pm

      Well, I do not even know, what kind of connection I had with this person. I thought it was love, but if it had been so things wouldn’t have turned out the way they did.




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    5. Anonymous
      October 19, 2016 at 10:13 am

      I have no idea why you thought it was real and now think it was not.
      I am just a person in a similar situation, with similar questions.

      But I also know that there are things capable of stopping people, even when they feel love for someone..
      Fear is the reason in my situation, most likely with my persons too.
      The world can be cruel.
      People can be cruel.
      Your own family can be cruel.
      And in my case, my person already carries childhood memories of a family member hurting him. A close family member. When I think about how it broke his spirit, his soul, I cry. I also think about how it ruined our chances, and I get angry.

      Did you ever watch the show “Lie to me” or wonder how lie detectors work? We have and use our senses to detect these subtle changes in people. This is what drives us to “take the chance”. But if you or they are carrying one or more other obstacles like gender identity, sexual preference, previous assault, marriage, or any other obstacle. you or they may never be able to “take the chance” because fear and/or experience affects survival and survival has stronger control than love. That is just nature.

      You may never know the real reason why it never happened, but I really believe the heart knows what it knows.

      Google “the heart works with the brain”

      Your not crazy and neither am I.




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    6. thank you
      October 19, 2016 at 1:38 pm

      Thank you, Anonymous. Just thank you.




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    7. @Author
      October 19, 2016 at 7:09 pm

      I thought I’d come to a place of serenity. Like Spring. Its warming up , the sky ever so blue. So many things remind me of her. Both of us use the word real & ironically “reality”. Im not dreaming there. Nor is the person “anonomyous”. At least we can all agree on this? They mean so much to us that here we pour our heart out. Personslly, I’m a fucking idiot. Writing here. Fuck!




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    8. author
      October 21, 2016 at 4:17 am

      Thank you @Anonymous.

      Our fantasy fills the lack of knowledge. Sometimes we are right and sometimes we are not. Fantasy can feel so real that even with the conscious thought in mind, even with recognition that we have no real confirmation we can trick ourselves into thinking we know. Perhaps my person was similar to me and our fantasies met in lalaland. I don’t know.

      I agree that fear also played a great role.




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