• I Don’t Want Your Prayers

    by  • October 17, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 0 Comments

    You say you’ll pray for me

    Why, I ask

    Do you imagine in your head that this is a kind thing to say and I’ll nod my head and smile with gratitude?

    Do you imagine that you are being a good Christian person, that this is something you can think of later, talk about later, about what a good individual you are

    Does it ever cross your mind, that whatever you are told may not be the truth? That people lie for sympathy, just as you lie about prayers for some points from the man in the sky.

    Does it ever occur to you that not everything is your business? That some things are just beyond unnecessary to say. Something’s that are meant to make someone feel better, makes a situation worse.

    You see, the monster that told you those lies, you, the only person who ever showed some sense and was on my side, knew how this would hurt me. Let’s trash her to the one woman who sometimes seemed to care and listen to her. She knew, you see, that your innocent words would say it all and tear me to pieces.

    I walked into that place. You not seeing me for months. Since that night. That night that changed me forever. I walked in their wearing a new look. A new person. The spirit that used to inhabit here was no longer existent. And that became evident immediately.

    You begin questioning me. And you expected me to fall weak and spill my soul to you. But I didn’t. I snapped and showed just who I now am. You were visibly taken aback and nothing gave me more pride then that moment. I was strong. I was no longer the weak crying girl that you remember. I was a fiery showcase of strength. Still soft, but like the ocean, roaring, deadly. And I was a tsunami in that place.

    You asked me if you could pray for me. And I told you no. I don’t want your prayers. I don’t want you praying about your distorted version of my situation that you have gotten. You were so stunned I thought you might fall.

    I hugged my sister, told her I loved her, turned my back and walked away, once and for all.

    There was a change in me, that became so evident, my footsteps on that wooden floor will stay burned there forever. And your memory of who I once was died there as well.

    I walked away knowing I could never turn back. And for the first time, I didn’t want to. I left that story behind me, and let it blow away in the wind.

    As I took off with wings, and buried your prayers.

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