• Pillar Pulled Down

    by  • October 12, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Waxing Poetic • 0 Comments

    Uncontrollable sobs, uncontrollable words

    Not being able to comprehend the pain, staring at the time, adding together the hour with the minutes

    Words sounding like gibberish mixed together, an unnecesary concoction of lies, words chosen only to sting

    Frozen in the same position

    Seatbelt locked tight

    Thoughts rushing through my head

    How many times, how many times

    Forgiven, forgotten, moved forward, happening again

    Hit once, hit twice, again and again

    Back home to the place that isn’t safe anymore

    Too much has happened, too much, it’s enough, no more

    Promised never again

    Sworn oaths

    Skin on fire, grabbing an ice cold water bottle

    Pressing it to my face

    Running, running, being chased

    Can’t stand not anymore

    On the ground, pulling grass

    Green, green grass

    Brown, cold dirt

    The earth beneath me

    Wrapping it around me

    More invaders

    Disguised as saviors

    As the good guys

    Here they are once again

    In my face, they’re in my face

    They speak to me as though I am nothing but dirt

    They speak to me as though I am inadequate

    They speak to me with no respect

    They speak to my father as though they are better than him

    They speak as though they know it all

    They know nothing

    Nothing of what I have endured

    Nothing of what has gone on in this home

    Nothing of who I am

    Nothing of who my family is

    Nothing of the constant catastrophic forces pulling my home apart

    They speak as though they know me

    They speak as if they know my father

    When they know nothing at all

    I can’t stand

    I hold on to the car

    My tears burn my face as though they are acid

    I cannot stomach them, they need to leave, they are invaders

    I was not weak that night

    But I fell apart

    I was not without strength

    But I fell to my knees

    The pillar that is me was pulled down

    But not without standing back up

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