I don’t expect you to ever see this. Part of me hopes you never will.
I’m sorry that the only time I talk to you is when I’m embarrassingly drunk. I’d talk to you sober about ordinary things but to be honest, you intimidate me a bit and always have and I don’t know whether you’re interested in even being casual acquaintances anymore.
I liked you the moment I met you. I was on the verge of killing myself that day but after meeting someone so ‘alive’ I just couldn’t. You stuck around and wanted to hang out again which was unexpected to me but I was glad. I started to intentionally sabotage things to try and push you away (like making you watch the most boring film I could think of) because I just couldn’t face the possibility that someone like you could like me, even as a friend. I’m not 100% certain how I felt about you because I was in a difficult situation at the time but I do regret not kissing you with all the chances I may have had.
I wouldn’t have had the opportunities I’ve had in the last couple of years if I had never met you. You made me believe anything is possible so thank you. I hope London treats you well!