That was our song. Remember it? The crazy tune and the funky dance we did. It feels like a lifetime ago now. But I remember.
In reality, ironically, our path paralleled that song. That’s exactly what we were. Destructible, short lived, flying through the air euphorically, as though we had no conscious thought of our inevitable crash landing.
I’m thinking of you tonight because I occasionally look at your music account. You deleted our songs. Which I can see why. I influenced your music taste so greatly over those four years. You didn’t even care much for music then. And I was the one who first played you that song, and the others.
I can see how stuff has changed for you. There’s no more grand collection of those happy upbeat songs I used to picture you from. They are different. They are without. Lacking the happy parts.
My life is different now too. I go forward without you around and there is a void in me. But It’s different, for I have experienced so much bad in my life. So many losses. So much hardship, never getting a break. But you have been sheltered from everything. You never had anything catastrophically bad happen to you until our friendship collapsed.
I just want you to know, I hope you are okay. It’s sad to think that I don’t know if you ever achieved those things. Since I don’t know, I’ll just say. I hope you fixed your sleep schedule. I hope you found a new karate place like you wanted. I hope you got your punching bag. I hope you have met people who love you like you deserve. I hope you have been getting along better with your family. I hope you wake up feeling rested. I hope you always have your favorite kind of cereal and you don’t ever go to eat it and realize there’s no milk.
So much happened. And a lot of it was so wrong. But I can’t blame you for all of it. I’m sorry if you feel like I left you. Everything was too broken and heavy for me alone to fix it. I couldn’t do it all on my own, fight a thousand men army all on my own, with nothing but my head and heart.
I want you to find peace. I want you to move forward. I still cheer you on from afar. I still love everything you are at this distance. I still want only the best for you.
When you’re at your lowest, at your loneliest, remember me and those days of the paper planes. When we believed we could fly without gravity pulling us down.
Because you know what?
We still can. And we do.