• I Saw Her With Him

    by  • October 9, 2016 • Loneliness • 1 Comment

    It’s been a long time sense I’ve been here. Maybe that’s a good sign or maybe I was missing something I need. Either way, here I am. Because it goes on. The pain. The sadness. The lost of real joy. I thought I passed this. I moved on from
    the storm that led me and from the one who scarred me. Just to find someone else. And you know what, she might even have the same feelings for me. But she’s with him. He makes her happy. I can’t see her hurt. So I’m back and it hurts like hell. It’s not fair to her. I shouldn’t be hurt because it will hurt her. It’s fucking ridiculous! I’m sitting here losing my goddamn mind. Tears swelling in my eyes. All I can do is run back here. Tell who ever reads these that they aren’t alone in their pain. Maybe even find help for me. Because to most I’m just that kid who’s too quiet. He’s not really smart and he doesn’t do anything. But just under his sleeve are those scars, that he tries to hide. But they’re apart of him. Just as much as his own heart. And I know that’s not just me. That’s you too. We all fall apart. I’m just so tired of being happy then being shot down. They say “that’s life.” I’m fucking tired of life! All this stupid shit that all equals one more walk to that knife! Try to carve away the pain again. It won’t work but I still try. So someone fucking tell the whole goddamn world to fuck off! Cause it wins. I’m broken! Me, 0. Life, 1. Handshake and congradulations. Because it’s too much now. After these years of pain, sorrow, and trying everything I can, I’ve come to one conclusion. I’m not wired for this place. This world isn’t something I can take. It’s just to bad. And what broke me? Seeing her with him. Fuck. I hope she won’t blame herself and I know everyone will be sad. To everyone I’m practically none existent anyway. Why hide what I feel? Because if I don’t my death will be so much more painful. -Wolfgang

    One Response to I Saw Her With Him

    1. One thing
      October 21, 2016 at 8:42 am

      That I used to divert my attention whenever like you are now is just focus on learning more abou something i enjoyed. I’d make a little scavenger hunt of tracking down apecific types of things I wanted to expose myself to that I hadn’t encountered previously. I became engrossed in my environment and how I wanted to better fill it.

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