• You

    by  • October 4, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Abuse • 1 Comment

    I’m really mad at you for what you did. I have problems focusing and on having stable relationships. I looked to alcohol to make me feel better, but am smarter than you and know that it won’t be a lasting thing. I take medication because of you. You’re the reason I can’t fall asleep normally or can’t stop worrying about things or can’t walk through a crowd without feeling like everyone is talking about and staring at me. You didn’t even give me the chance to be a normal person. You ripped that chance away without even a thought. I tried to kill myself but luckily failed. I would have kept trying except that I decided that someone like you..someone as evil and cruel as you doesn’t deserve for someone like me to destroy myself over it. You were selfish and mean and a bad person. But I have the chance to make myself whole and to be a good person. I have more of a chance than you’ll ever have now.
    p.s. I wouldn’t be too upset if a bus ran over you.:)

    One Response to You

    1. ......
      October 5, 2016 at 4:05 am

      I’m sorry for your pain,
      but if this was the person I fell in love with,
      what would I have to say in return?
      Pluck the speck from your own eye,
      and maybe think what might have triggered dissonance,
      what may have caused “what they did”.
      Obviously if “what they did” was violence against you,
      then that changes it entirely and that is crossing a line,
      that should never be crossed.
      Only a cowardly man would hit a woman.
      Now, yes, some people baselessly cause hurt and pain,
      and even that must stem from some inward pain,
      an imbalance, bullying in their childhood, and other things,
      but when it comes to matters of the heart,
      if you scorned the other person,
      feelings of betrayal are the hardest to contain.
      Sometimes that anger, rage, sense of loss,
      (because mostly a relationship will dissolve after betrayal),
      are vented in ways that are not healthy, not good,
      and I make no justification for how this person made you feel this way,
      but I am just trying to understand this from all angles.

      In my case, how you described how you feel,
      damn I feel that way too.
      She damaged me, left a gaping hole in my heart.
      Cold, she was, friendly with a smile, hypnotizing ways,
      all the while with a dagger of ice in my chest.
      Bottled up emotion smashed the bottle,
      and out poured bitterness,
      regret, rage, frustration and sorrow.

      I am glad you didn’t kill yourself.
      I have been there before, belt around my neck,
      and I have lost friends to suicide,
      it is so very painful for many people,
      please never do that.

      I myself am on a road to becoming a better man,
      I wish the girl I fell in love with could see me now,
      give me a chance that she never gave me,
      I leave that in her court,
      maybe I will meet some other woman,
      but my heart has only one throne,
      and it is for her.

      We hurt each other,
      in different ways,
      none of it petty, none of it trivial,
      it was real pain, real loss.
      Haven’t seen her in just over 2 years,
      and I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again…

      I pray that one day we will both wipe the slate clean,
      to cherish real love and grow together,
      to truly forgive each other,
      for the drama and pain of the past,
      to blow away in the wind,
      for us to embrace each other,
      and forsake our past.

      This website does my head in,
      because obviously there is a huge chance,
      it ain’t you who posted this…
      If it is, you’ll know it’s me,
      and well… what a mess.
      I’m sorry for the pain I caused.
      I carry the sorrow and shame with me,
      please know that I am not proud.

      I miss you so much.

      /back to reality

      To the author:
      Whoever you are I wish you happiness,
      I wish you find peace,
      and for your pain to haunt you no longer.


    Leave a Reply