i’m so tired,
my HEART is so tired
i miss u and u hate me!
well it feels as if u hate me?
or u don’t care
which is even worse
because if u hated me i would understand
and at least it meant u felt something
i know we both hurt each other
just what a mess it all has been
u broke my heart and i spun out of control
reckless and angry, bitter and twisted
now the wind blows the dust away
i listen out for echoes
only to have cold silence
simple things like being out on the footpath at night
walking, where we used to walk, in my hood
that u are not by my side walking with me
heart heavy, it’s dark and a street lamp flickers
we don’t “hang out” anymore
for years gone by
i stand there and the tears well up
an owl hoots
a car drives by
a track i made for u playing
as i smoke a cigarette and watch the smoke drift away
i feel so much pain and regret and sorrow in my heart
my mind stuck in a dream that fell apart in reality long ago
even though it is all shattered on the ground
i look the other way, cover my ears, cover my eyes
and i keep dreaming, keep hoping, keep crumbling inside,
as i keep a strong front for my friends and my colleagues,
who think i’m exactly that – holding it all together.
the foundations worn away by grief,
a lost love, stolen by a thief
and i did not fight i walked away
i was young and i was naive,
it was all too much for me,
my broken past with no dignity.
i miss u so fucking much! do u know how that feels?
it comes in waves and it weighs me down so heavy.
i know we can fix things if u reach out,
i got so much love for u, i can’t even explain it properly.
hoping and yearning to hear from u.