I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. I’ve been talking to one of our friends a lot trying to help her get through her recent breakup and I realized that her and I are dealing with the same things in many ways. I need to do myself what I’m telling her she needs to do. I’m sorry, but I’m done.
I can’t keep fighting for someone who will choose someone else over me every time. I can’t keep fighting for someone who won’t fight for me. I can’t keep fighting for someone who told me to stay then six months later told me they don’t want me making life decisions based on them. I can’t keep fighting for someone who left me. I can’t keep fighting for someone who refuses to give me a reason to have stayed here. I can’t keep fighting for you. I’m trying to find my own reasons to be here outside of you but as long as you’re around I can’t because every time I look at you I see all the mistakes I made and everything I gave up to stay here. One of two things needs to happen, either you need to give me a reason to have stayed or I need to be done. And I know one of those things will never happen.
You’re going to say that I’m wrong, that I’m an awesome friend, that you don’t want me to go. You and I both know something is different. The things you do and the things you say don’t match up like they used to. You don’t love me like you used to. Rather than being that friend you couldn’t live without, know it’s like I’m that kid you were friends with in high school but don’t really care to see anymore. You’re going to tell me it isn’t true, but I can count on one hand how many hours we’ve seen and talked to each other in the last six weeks.
I’m so sorry. I’m done. I’m walking away. Not that you would notice, because realistically you left a long time ago. If I’m really such an awesome friend (which I’m because what kind of friend would say this?), then by all means you can try and fight and bring me back. But this is it for me, I’m done fighting and I’m done trying. I need to make my life my own and with the way we are right now I can’t do that because I feel like I need to fight for you all the time. I’m sorry. I’m done.
Thank you for everything,