I don’t know what I did to piss you off or if you ever exist anymore. I had so much faith in you at one point it was probably disgusting.
“Everything happens for a reason”, “This happened because if you got on that plane and left it would’ve crashed”, “The Universe has a better plan than you could come up with” “Your guardian angel is always with you.
Bull. Shit. And fuck you “higher power” if you even exist, because you’re just an asshole. Also, my “guardian angel” has done a shit job this whole year. I guess he/she/whatever must have retired.
The only thing I “learned” from my father dying is that he is not here and will never come back.
“Don’t take each moment for granted” – you know what, I didn’t. And he still died. And cancer pills come at $1500 a pill. A PILL. How are we in a world where that is allowed to happen? Where it’s totally acceptable to hike up the prices of medicine and the WORST people are the ones that get the breaks and the most money. And now my mom with her Parkinsons, depression and knee surgery that hasn’t helped at all? You really know how to put the right combination of misery together.
Also, I didn’t learn anything from breaking my knee, so thank you for that– all that did was make me walk with a limp now and probably have pain for the rest of my life. And all of my savings has gone to hospitals and insurance companies. That just tops the cherry right there.
I used to constantly talk to you and believe things happened because you made them happen and brought together just the right circumstances. I used to believe “angels” watched over me and guided me to make decisions. I used to believe my dad was around still and my grandparents and friends who passed. I don’t feel them anymore. I’m not sure if they were ever there or if I believed just to make me feel better. I’m thinking its the latter.
Now I know shit just happens and sometimes you get lucky if you get a break. And most breaks I got were from people I knew and who they knew to help bring me success.
Stephen Fry said it best when asked what he would say if he were confronted by God at the pearly gates:
“I’d say bone cancer in children? What’s that about? How dare you? How dare you create a world in which there is such misery that is not our fault? It’s not right. It is utterly, utterly evil. Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid God who creates a world which is so full of injustice and pain? That’s what I would say”
I ask the same thing, “Universe”. How dare you? How dare you create a world in which there is such misery that is not our fault? How dare you ever create suffering for humans and animals and other life forms that don’t deserve it? Because “thats how nature is”? Bull-fucking-shit.
And I’m not talking about just me. Famine in different parts of the country, AIDS, child abuse and molestation, animal torture, animal entrapment? The slaughter of our oceans and animals around the world “because we can”? Because we are the “image” of God, this is how “Gods” act?
What the hell is wrong with you? I’m over believing in something that let’s cruel things happen. Or maybe you just never existed in the first place.
The one thing I do believe in is love. Love and compassion for those I know and care for.
Apparently, that is one thing YOU lack.