• Second apology.

    by  • July 10, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Sorry • 10 Comments

    I’m not expecting you to see this. Which is why I’m posting it here. I know your probably not the type to visit this site. In writing this here as a means of getting it off my chest.

    I already apologized to you once, but I owe you a second apology. One I can’t say to you. At least not right now. I apologized for hurting you because I ended our friendship. I did not apologize for lying to you. Only part of what I said was true. The other part was made up to purposely push you away. I intentionally said things and acted a certain way that would make you avoid me. I was struggling, and I still am struggling. I felt like I was giving you more to worry about when you already had enough on your plate. Your trying to get an education and take care of other responsibilities. You don’t need me in your life. At least not now. The second reason I lied and put on a show was because I was becoming confused with my own emotions towards you. No matter how badly things are between me and my current relationship, I would never want to overstep boundaries or do anything that I wouldn’t want someone else to do to me. So I told you part of the truth, and acted a little more emotionally unstable than I really was. So that you would hate me and stay away. I want you to know that I got no pleasure out of it. I did not like hurting you. I did not like lying to you. It’s just better this way right now. I need to sort myself out and see where life is going to take me. If we are meant to cross paths again, I will tell you the whole truth at that point. Until then I let it out here.

    I apologize to you………from the bottom of my heart I am sorry for everything. I hope everything is well with you.

    10 Responses to Second apology.

    1. Paddlethis
      July 10, 2016 at 3:35 pm

      That is the shitiest most backward apology I’ve ever heard.

    2. Second Apology
      July 13, 2016 at 4:44 am

      @Paddlethis
      Its ok if you think it’s backwards or shitty. I am no good for that person right now so I purposely pushed them away. I am apologizing to them for having lied to push them away. It is obviously being written here as a means of saying it without saying it to them directly. It would defeat the purpose of pushing someone away if I contacted them. I have my issues I need to sort out before I ever reach out to that person again. And if that apology is messed up, Well it further validates that I need to fix myself before I reach out to that person again.
      I hope you have a beautiful day.

    3. C
      July 13, 2016 at 2:33 pm

      @ Second Apology – why would you play games like this with someone. If somebody pushed me away ‘for my own good’ and didn’t discuss with me like I’m a thinking, breathing adult who can take the truth and then reached out for me again, when THEY decided for ME that they were now OK, to be in my life – well, you can guess how that would go. You made an omnipotent decision for somebody else and couldn’t even treat them with the respect they deserve of telling them why or letting them know the whole truth. Maybe you shouldn’t ever reach out to them again and save them the torment of being treated like a child? I hope your strategy teaches you in the end that treating people this way is hurtful.

      • Second Apology
        July 14, 2016 at 3:53 am

        I get how messed up it was. I am not unaware of that. Which is why I wrote an apology letter on here. Everything you said has crossed my mind plenty of times. I really do have quite a bit of issues that need to get sorted out in my head and I probably am toxic for that person right now. As messed up as my strategy is, they really don’t need me in their life. I’ll take your advice (truly and honestly) and never reach out to them again. Your right, I don’t deserve to contact them. It’s for the best that they continue to hate me and stay away.
        I hope you have a beautiful day.

      • Second Apology
        July 14, 2016 at 3:54 am

        Last comment was for “C”

    4. no need to apologize
      July 14, 2016 at 2:40 am

      Take your time. You are talking about them, but I get the feeling that it’s much more about you. You will find your way. Don’t let pain and regret dictate your direction. (Hug)

    5. kb
      January 24, 2018 at 2:53 am

      Is this TJC?

      • Second apology
        February 21, 2018 at 1:46 pm

        Sorry if it took a while for you to get a reply, but this is not TJC. Sorry about that. I hope things turn out alright between you and this other person.

    6. DreamingofL
      February 25, 2018 at 6:27 pm

      I don’t know your story OP, but I related to this letter. In my case I feel like I was the person left behind in this letter, and maybe your letter could be what she felt at the time about me. At first I would’ve probably responded like that “C” comment. The truth is after looking back, I was pretty selfish on how I reacted to this other person, for ending the friendship over something really juvenile. I didn’t really give much thought about her, but myself and where my direction was in life. I felt I also put on a show, as if my feelings weren’t really what I was showing through my facial expressions, and actions. I feel as if she thought I “hated” her, but the internal truth was quite the opposite. I was really hurt though, years ago. I had strong feelings for this other person,that was left with no goodbyes and no apologies. She probably hates me tho because I left it all pretty open-ended, like an unfinished story. If our paths were to cross again, I would try not to make things awkward. If she shys away from me, fck it. lol. I just hope you do sort things out, because in someway I kinda get you. I feel like this other person rejected this idea of me which hurt a lot, …I wasn’t really sure if she would get bored if she got to know the real me anyways. Sorry I’m just venting out my situation. Hope all is well, as your letter really hit me hard.lol

      • Second Apology
        April 6, 2018 at 12:13 pm

        Hey DreamingofL

        Everything is well with me. I hope all is well with you.
        If you ever cross paths with this person again, I hope you are able to properly show/tell her how you feel/felt and that things are not awkward. Which honestly it may well be at the start. I truly believe my chances to fix things are completely gone. Although I have vastly improved myself and made changes in these past 2 years, the friendship is gone. I have learned to accept that I screwed up and handled the entire thing poorly and there is no going back. Part of me still does feel this was for the best because of my menta) state at the time (I did make it seem worse, although a bad plan, to push them away. Still, I wasn’t hunky dory either), but the other part of me knows I went about everything the wrong way. But what can we do? We are only human, we make mistakes and we have to learn from our mistakes. Now I just keep moving forward while hoping that they are happy. I hope they have created a new, better, and more fulfilling friendship. Even if that friendship isn’t with me. I hope they accomplished their goals and are really content with their life. I just honestly all around hope the best for them. I will also continue to keep working on myself so I don’t make the same mistakes with any new friendships I make along the way.

        But if you still have the chance to one day cross paths with this person and you both want to fix things, then go ahead and fix things before the chance is gone. If they dont want to fix things, then move forward in your life as well. I can at least say sorry on their behalf that you were hurt. Sometimes we don’t think logically and sometimes, we take the easy way out. Although we shouldn’t and we should face things head on.

        I wish you the very best dreamingofL. I hope you are doing well in life.

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