Look to your left————–> is this left?
Now, before I start insulting, because I am at a point where I may enjoy it sadly as am not feeling quite like myself.
Please, your whining, huffing and puffing needs attention , I know I get it.
See I’ve sort of had time to compare things and realised I am way over my head. At least I was. Did you know there is no “I” in denial? :/ hmm. Back to the point, C a u s e and E f f e c t.
I wrote that ‘slowly’so that you might, just might understand better? feel free to read it a few times like really. Perhaps stop reading HERE and come back when you have fully understood? Whatever is easier for you, in case your mind waders, then comes up with something like you’d usually say “Why you play games”. Look, just don’t go letting your mind wonder too much, its too small to be out on its own.
Aaanyway, I read most your letters, because I have been on sort of a mindtox, trying to forgive certain things which I can’t forget. I can’t , its a big thing to forgive, its a gift ; One would have to forgive to take steps forward in rebuilding whatever they have left. I don’t mind stupidity, I don’t like it or the effect it has on me nevertheless its easier than accepting lying. Which I cannot do.
See going through so many of your letters A lot of de-ja-moos occurred and my brain was a fuse short.
I had to stand over the toilet and extract half a weeks food – well the other way would have been better.
I don’t want to pretend or lie or hide the fact you damaged a part of me ok. But I also never gave you the impression that I still hold a candle lit for you. I never invited you to write to me nor do I wish to read anything from you, you should be so lucky. Numerous times in the past I have given you advice, yes it was because I cared. I hope you apply them, I’d hate to think you’re selfishness is still hurting people who are unlucky to be related to you. I would be hoping that you have changed, does it not stop your mind on its way out? To just ask itself, “what if I need to change?” And don’t for one second think this is about me, this is about those who deserve better having no choice but to be around you. I made mine ..
Count yourself lucky for this attention am giving you is more than you deserve.
I don’t need you, your words, nothing, absolutely nothing. As long as you are out of my sight I will be happy, isn’t that something you want too? Didn’t you say you wish me happiness and you pray for it. It’s quite possible and reachable with just that one, out of MY SIGHT!
I don’t care about your theories, your fantasies and the delirious knack you have for the word “love”. And yes love cannot be seen it can only be felt, super dooper I see I have inspired you.
I guess people ARE meant to be a traveler in our lives, some stay some leave. And you sunshine were out a long time ago. Oh and me and my trees and branches well let me tell you something about that. Something I haven’t told you but will do now with pleasure ; After conversing with you sometimes I have this urge to bang my head on the wall or kiss a dog, hug a tree and appreciate all that because its real, its there, no masks attached.
As for your women or woman, your fans and your friends, your advisors and suvivors, I don’t give a toss. I’m way too busy to …
Yes, I also stopped giving a shit about what people think, because at the end of the day YOU and I (Never thought id write that again— one sec, just going to use that wall) right, KNOW THE TRUTH. What you did.. I don’t have an excuse for my behaviour , denial, trauma and horror but again … C a u s e and E f f e c t !!!!
I will let you in on a little secret, I prayed I got it wrong, time after time. So do remember that before you continue making some poop about what a bitch with intent I am.
Because its sad isnt it. How I made you the man … lol I honestly just laughed.
I dont like you . I wont pretend I do.
You dont deserve those who love you, I know that, they know that, God knows that, everyone knows that apart from you.
So maybe read between the lines here, you don’t need my respect
Nor will you ever have it. But maybe God helps me find a way to forgive for MY sake. But that is only if you have changed and care more about those around you than your T.D. No one deserve that.
About mind games, your way of thinking, your mentality, my way of talking etc has never really been on level , so basically I am saying you’re thick. Hasn’t this worked out quite well? I am such a bitch aren’t I ?
Writing as you would expect.
PS : ” My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone”
Don’t embarrass yourself. Don’t write TO me ABOUT me FOR me nor BECAUSE of me. The me you think you know doesn’t exist.
Fuck you and have nice day !