• P.s. I still love you

    by  • March 24, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Soulmate • 2 Comments

    And hey, I know it’s unbelievable, but I never stopped. That’s right. I still love you. I know you’re so used to reading my poetry, you must expect this to be soft and dramatic. For this letter, that would be pretentious. We are not soft. We are not dramatic. We are a burning fire, raging on in the dark. We are tragic. Not in the someone is dying, or our romance is doomed type of way. In the way that it hurts. I can pinpoint the moment that I began loving you. There with all of the faces in the crowd, my eyes met yours. You pulled me into you and in that moment, I lost my heart. I will never get it back. And that time we didn’t work out. We didn’t work out the next time either. Maybe because you had other priorities. Maybe because I’ve been hurt so many times so I’m needy and emotional. Whatever the reason, we never work. But guess what? We always find our way back. It’s tragic. We always end up fighting and being angry when my whole body is screaming at me to apologize. To do what ever it is I can do to have you. To keep you. To love you. But I fight anyways. I fight because I won’t let you talk down on yourself. I won’t let you talk down on us. I used to push you away when we fought, just as you do. I’m putting my foot down. I’d like to promise you this. I love you. I will love you until the last breath of air leaves my lungs. I will love you until the heart in my chest that is not even mine, stops beating. I will love you always. I will never stop fighting. But I don’t want to fight with you anymore, I want to fight for you. I want to fight for you until the end of time. I want to reassure you. I want to make sure that you know that you are loved and wanted and important. I won’t leave you. I won’t walk out on you. I won’t let you push me away because you think you’re not good for me. What do I need in this life? To feel happy, to feel safe, to feel loved and wanted, to have a life and a family that I am satisfied with. That I am happy with. If you do and can give me all of those things, plus the raging fire in my chest that we call out love for each other, I’ll be happy for a lifetime. P.s. I still love you.

    2 Responses to P.s. I still love you

    1. :)
      March 25, 2016 at 2:26 am

      Aww this is sweet..
      After reading this all I want to say is I love You..

    2. Buttercup
      August 9, 2016 at 12:52 pm

      Me too! Year after year, I fought for him this time it ended, so much I did and for so long. And he turned me down, turned me away. He doesn’t believe in us, doesn’t believe in me, but he should. I know given the chance now, if he really wanted me, I would do whatever I could to bring him happiness.

      I never took it so seriously until it ended this time.

      I wish he would fight for us because after all this time – seven months after the ten years of these beginnings that end every time (!) only to start again later – I really just want us to give it a shot. I want to treat it like it matters this time, and I want to be treated like I matter.

      I really wish he would come back and say these words to me, because this is my absolute truth and has been for months now.

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