• I really really miss YOUU!!

    by  • March 24, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 2 Comments

    I don’t even know what to do with myself.
    I always hope that one day we will speak again, but I do fear that, that won’t happen.
    I really feel like I need you right now!!
    Whenever I’m in a difficult situation I often think what would you do? To try and get through it.
    I kind of feel despaired right now though. I feel like I’ve moved on so much in my life, but I still wish so much you would be part of it. Like those times when I saw you before and you saw me. I feel like it’s not just me that wants this.
    I just really wish you were part of my life and you know that. I kind of feel that you’ve always dangled the carrot, like giving signs that you want to be in contact, but then going away again. I just don’t know what to think. You know I think a lot of you as a person. I just really wish that we could talk, but feel like you’re not sure. I can only be true to myself so can’t exactly say I will be like this or be like that, but tbf neither can you. It’s like before when you said about coming back from holiday, it was like that was it, there was no more to the conversation which is fine, it’s just I do care and wish that if I saw you or you saw me, we could actually speak? Rather than avoiding. It still worries me sometimes when I’m out, that I’ll see you and you’ll look at me in a despairing way. I just don’t want it to be like that..
    please contact me! 🙁

    2 Responses to I really really miss YOUU!!

    1. similar
      March 25, 2016 at 10:40 am

      At the risk of sounding like so many others on this site that assume that these posts and letters are meant for them, I’m going to reply anyways. Your situation sounds so much like one that I am in right now. There is someone that I care for and I want to be a part of his life. That I am sure of. I sort of ran into him twice this week. The first time I was prepared and I was able to somewhat carry on a conversation with him. The second time, I was caught off guard, panicked, and stared at the ground a few times before I looked back up and said hello. I wanted to stop and talk to him and that’s why I was there in the vicinity. While I think he knows that I am interested in him, I don’t think he knows the physical effect he has on me. I know I come off in a way that says that I don’t want to stay and talk, but in truth it’s the opposite. I do wish that I could sit down with him privately and speak with him about what I feel is between us or anything else he wants to discuss. I sent him an email making up a fairly plausible excuse to see him and asking if he has time to sit down and talk with me. Because I am so attracted to him, it may be awhile before I am not so nervous around him and acting like a disinterested bundle of nerves. I’m pretty embarrassed about it actually.

      <3 K

      P.S. – Before finishing this, I just spoke with him and apparently my excuse was a little too believable. Now, I have to find a different excuse to talk to him (privately) and work up the nerve to admit to him how I feel. At this point, my main concern is not being 100% sure that he is interested in me the same way. I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable and I'm scared of the possibility of admitting my feelings to him and seeing the look on his face. Would he feel horrified, cornered, and uncomfortable? I'm scared of being hurt.

    2. @similar
      March 27, 2016 at 5:46 pm

      I say just go for it! What do you have to lose? I to am in a simular but different situation. I was dumped about 6 months ago, just out of the blue. I cared for the person a lot. For the last 6 months, even if we weren’t together or talking, I felt committed still. I don’t know why except I fell deeply in love with her. I had met another woman and we haven’t done anything sexual, but she does show interest. I find her hot and I love that she loves being around me, although I keep our visits far and few in between. I find myself flirting back to not hurt her feelings and because I still felt committed to the ex girl. I found myself wanting to kiss this new friend the other day. I told myself it was because I was hurt from the break up I had just gone through, so I hadn’t even kissed her. We are going on a road trip tomorrow. I realize my ex just wants nothing to do with me. I know kourtney, my new friend wants something to happen on this trip. She is experienced in lesbianism, she knows I’m hurt over my ex dumping me. She says that in order for me to get over the ex, being with someone else would help me finalize that its over. She said she isn’t looking for a relationship, that she just wanted to experience me once. I find myself thinking she may be right. I’m confused on what to do. Maybe I should just let go and go with the flow. She does make me nervouse Lmao, she is straight forward. She is gorgeous. Emotionally I’m not sure if I can handle being with someone else so soon…. I guess we will just see what happens. I’m starting to think maybe she is right. Maybe sleeping with her will help me cut a bond with the ex that I’ve had trouble cutting. I’ve tried cutting the bond on my own,to no avail. Maybe the help will be good.

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