I hope that someday I will have the opportunity to share with you my feelings, my thoughts, and all the little things that made me think of you. Until then, I’m placing this here so that I can find it later. At the time, I had no idea that random people would assume this was written for them. Since then, I have remedied that odd situation by addressing it to you and adding a signature.
For the record, if I have to opportunity to speak with you again, I have found the courage to say your name out loud to you. I know it will reveal my feelings for you, but if it isn’t too late, I am ready to take off my mask. I have been ready to remove my mask for what feels like a long time, but in reality, is only months. I (im)patiently wait for you to reach out for me to take your hand. Missing you has given me the courage to trust you with my heart if you want it and if you want me.
My heart’s desire
I’m not even sure how this happened. I just know that I have been attracted to you from the moment I first looked into your eyes. You make me nervous and I’m terrified of the depth of my feeling for you. I don’t really know you, but I want to know everything about you. I long for the moments that I can just catch a glimpse of you and dream of what it would be like to touch you, to be held by you. This is coming from someone who isn’t big on hugging and touching in general. Somehow, you’ve stolen my heart and I have fought it every step of the way. When I look into your beautiful blue eyes, I get lost. I forget everything and everyone else around me. I can’t look away and I feel drawn to you. I can’t explain what it does to me when I hear you say my name. I notice and I ache for you each and every time. Have you noticed that I have never said your name out loud? I’ve wanted to speak your name, but I’m afraid that my feelings will be apparent if I do and that I won’t be able to hide my emotions. Once when you said “Good morning, (my name)”, I immediately fantasized about hearing you say that after a long night spent making love with you. I barely managed to squeak out a response to you. It’s been difficult to even get out words to talk to you, but I want to talk to you. I want to know you and I want you to know me.