• What goes through your mind.. Dad

    by  • March 16, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Moving On • 0 Comments

    I’ve been thinking so much, about what goes through your mind.
    You say you love me, but I can’t see it.
    You don’t even contact me on my birthday..
    You say you care, but you think of the bottle, before you think of me.
    You choose the bottle over your Phone, even if it’s just one text.
    Jail won’t teach you this time, cause it didn’t affect you last time.
    Your dad is in a terminal state of cancer, but you don’t even contact him..
    You are so busy with your own life, that you can’t even see how bad you’re hurting other people.
    Years and years I’ve cried, but you don’t know that.
    And my tears are running out, I cant cry over you anymore.
    Ofcourse it hurts, but the hurting doesn’t get to me anymore, because I’m used to it now.
    It shouldn’t have to be like this, but if you don’t know any better.. It’s just a normal thing.
    My mum had warned me, but I thought I could save him, I thought I could change him.. I couldn’t.
    And now I got to the point, where I give up.
    I give up on you, and I forgive you for everything, but I don’t want him in my life anymore.
    You bring too much pain and stress to my life.
    And I love you, but sometimes you have to let go of the people you love.. Because they bring more pain than joy in your life.

    I’m sorry dad, but I can’t handle the pain anymore.
    I can’t handle the drinking, drugs and gambling anymore.
    I can’t handle the sleepless nights thinking about you anymore.

    I wish you the best in life, and hope you understand my decision.

    I love you, but it kills me to see you like this.

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