• Sorry for failing you

    by  • March 7, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Thinking of you • 0 Comments

    Hello Josh.

    There is so much I want to say to you but I do not know how. I just finished reading “Waking Up Married” yesterday. I so badly wanted to be the girl in the book, and have man want me/love me the way this man wanted the women. I want that for my life, I wanted someone to be “on fire” for me. Ironically, today I realized I had that. I had someone crazy for me, and I threw it all away. That person was you. You would have done anything for me, and I selfishly pushed you aside. I have no idea how you came into my mind today… but I am glad you did. I think. I read our whole “relationship.” I read all our emails, and fb messages. I was so awful to you and it makes me sick and I am so incredibly sorry. I am so sorry for the way I mistreated you, and spoke to you. You were so kind.

    I remember one time I really wanted eggnog, and you walked in the snow to the nearest location that had it, to get it for me. You were the sweetest. I never gave you a chance because I was so wrapped up in someone else that I knew wasn’t good for me. You knew it too.

    I remember the night I meant you like it was yesterday. My second night of college. I saw you and your friends coming towards my friends and I, and my heart fluttered. God you are so fucking sexy.

    I am in a relationship, so are you, but I so badly want to get coffee with you and just talk about the four years that have passed. Just talk. I actually miss you. I miss you so much.

    I have been thinking about calling you.. to hear your voice, I wonder what you sound like now? Would I recognize your voice? I want to see you. I want to know everything about you.

    I hope you are well.

    Forever and always,
    M.

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