• self evident

    by  • March 5, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 10 Comments

    I dream of giving you a love letter. I have never written one. Just to give it to you to thank you for the amazing feelings you have inspired. You made me long to love myself enough to be the best version of me possible to possibly one day be compelling to you. How strange this feeling is. Of being so into you that I just want you to be happy. Of feeling empowered by letting go. Of feeling that I just want your heart to sing one day when you are in need of a song of how you once inspired someone.
    I won’t tell you how many tears I have cried, or how desolate I feel at times. I will just tell you that from the first moment I decided to contact you I was convinced we were meant to be. Yes, of a cosmic connection cutting through all the walls that we could have built up as adults and making the unexplainable just obvious and self-evident. I was really so convinced, like never before. So much so, that I began to make diary entries like a teenager. Everyday not already spent together was wasted, was pointless. My enthusiasm was so strong, I felt I could pull through the looking glass into a world of bliss where our love would heal all past pain, all past disappointments and all past imperfections. We are not in our 20s anymore and yet I know we could feel that naive enthusiasm again. I saw it in you. Why would you agree to meet otherwise? Just being polite? Just curious? Is the cynicism of adulthood getting the better part of you? Are you putting practicality above trusting the beauty that can be? Are we too old to dream and believe? Are we too jaded to let our hearts sing together and connect at the deepest level? Or am I just crazy living in my little world? If we are supposed to trust our intuition, then by God my inner voice needs a fix. You make it painfully obvious that I am missing so much, and that yet I cannot and must not compromise. I can try, but I know my heart will not forgive any serious attempts at compromise. The contrast would be too painful to the vision you have enabled. I cannot pretend to love. For you, I would move to the end of the earth, while for others I can hardly imagine shifting my schedule. You have touched my core being, and let down the wall just enough to share your humanity, just enough to share that which connects us all at the deepest level. How can I now accept anything less. That kind of connection that needs no rationalization or explanation. It just is. And it is great. Abundant, flowing, exploring, limitless. I love you. I really do. And I wish you happiness and fulfillment. The kind you cannot and do not need to explain. The kind that no matter what you do makes your being and your life sublime. Thank you for the inspiration. It is painful to watch you walk past me without a second thought, but you have given me a gift of feeling alive again and of wanting to reach new heights. If you ever need to know that you have inspired this in someone, I hope that day you will learn of this.

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    10 Responses to self evident

    1. This one
      March 5, 2016 at 8:44 pm

      I wish was for me…it might go someways to help me understand things.
      I just figured you found someone else you prefer to spend time with or you needed some time and space. I just hope if I’m patient enough you will come back to me in your own time.




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    2. @Author
      March 7, 2016 at 1:15 pm

      Your words are beautiful. You speak of such epic love.
      Is this your first letter?




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    3. Ana
      March 8, 2016 at 1:41 pm

      Thank you. Yes, this is my first letter.

      @This one
      Thank you. I do need time and space, to mend, re-center and breathe life into myself again. They say if you really want something / someone, then let go. If it comes back to you, it will last forever. If not, it was not meant to be. I am letting go, though this love will always be.




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    4. Oedipa Maas
      March 8, 2016 at 9:04 pm

      @PeterC Ahh. Well, alright then. I’ll move along. But you might have noticed that blowing up a thread or two is quite the fashion.




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    5. Oedipa Maas
      March 8, 2016 at 10:19 pm

      @PeterC Off to burnish my rapier snark elsewhere.

      (sighs dejectedly)




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    6. Oedipa Maas
      March 8, 2016 at 10:20 pm

      I’ll go now.




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    7. Oedipa Maas
      March 8, 2016 at 10:21 pm

      Now.




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    8. Oedipa Maas
      March 8, 2016 at 10:22 pm

      Word.




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    9. @@author
      March 9, 2016 at 12:21 am

      I echo your sentiments on this letter. It is beautiful and does sound inspired by an epic love. Thank you to the author for sharing such beautiful writing about your experience of a love that most of us only dream of finding and or feeling. Sigh.




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    10. @ Author...I nearly replied
      March 10, 2016 at 8:47 am

      As your mirroring how my life is ATM & how I feel about a certain someone, except me being a Man. Your letter is beautiful beyond measure.

      Do you see here ladies & gentleman the marvellous Opeida Mass is playing a sick evil game called entrapment! Why would they play with people’s emotions with evil intentions again. Did she believed it was me. Which it wasn’t & why I haven’t said anything. I feel sorry for you because what your doing is vindictive maybe the works of a sociopath? Groomed by the master himself. You should have your qualifications revoked Peter. i might have said to much on here but never have I acted in such a despicable manner as I was heart broken unlike you who plays God….sorry the devil for look at your protege Opedia?

      I’m sorry Ana for writing this on your letter for I was being targeted wirh malice intention. For him to interfer & help ruin something that was none of his business. It’s overstepping the boundaries of his profession. See since I’ve mentioned that this might go against his ethical standards and therefore qualification:licence he’s gone quiet?




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